To be, or not to be...

... I must never try to evade the question.

:-)

Sometimes I overdo it

I wouldn't say I've been writing a lot in this two weeks' break. I've been thinking a lot, though, which is more than enough to give me a headache at the best of times! But I haven't been feeling all that great - the first day off found me lying on the settee, watching tv. It was Fred Astaire, so it did perk me up a bit.
But throughout the week, while I was thinking, I was a bit listless and rather lacking in energy.
By and by, it took a lot of doing, but I began to put pen to paper - or finger to keyboard, as it was. Instead of actual writing, I began to record, step by step, the pathway to the end of this first book. Now, as I said, it took a lot of doing, as it is rather alien to me to write things out in that way. I've never done that, though when writing Sword I did write temporary notes to get me through a chapter, or to remind myself to amend a previous chapter. Here, I found myself writing dialogue, postures, movements, to the point where I had to bring myself out of things in order to get the story to pan out before me. The need for more clarity was uppermost in my mind. I had to get the story out of my head and in front of my eyes.
It was amazing how the storytelling took over whenever I allowed it. I know, now, that when I write each future chapter, the writing will come into it quite naturally again. Only, I'll get more of it right instead of tripping over things like a novice.
However, I'll have to be careful. On Wednesday and Thursday I did two nights in a row, writing until around 5 a.m. both times. I almost did myself in. Never felt so tired, and no amount of 'good' diet since and extra sleep has brought me round. I had a birthday party to attend on Saturday, but I've had to give it up. I just couldn't do it. I did a quick shop and came back home. I'm at work on Monday, so perhaps I'll be out on Sunday for a few hours. Hopefully, young Kyle will be there and I'll be able to buy him a drink. You're only 21 once. Jeez, once you're past that milestone, time flies like crazy. Don't I know it - I feel 101 right now.
Cue the music: Just a young man, by an old road, by an old road he chose...

4000 Holes In...

Have you you seen that new contraption invented in Japan? The yellow ball that you are supposed to climb into if another flood comes along? It comes with built-in holes and costs £2400 each!! Built-in holes!!??? So it's not just our guys who study how much milk it takes before cornflakes get soggy lol Still, it's true what they say: you can't take your money with you when you die - not if you spend it on stuff like that! I'd love one, though, to roll downhill to work... ;-)

The Bells

I went off to Newcastle, first to visit Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and his lovely wife, Chris, for coffee; then to look for a new winter coat.
At Noel's, I was served soup and then strawberries n cream - and coffee, of course. Marvellous, though I could only stay an hour. Such great company and I'll be heading back there next week for a longer stay. I hope there'll be strawberries n cream again!
Off I went to look at coats. A simple task, one would think, with a million shops to choose from. Not so - jeez, they don't half sell a load of rubbish when it comes to coats. In the end, I gave up, deciding to just go and buy one in Shields when it became too cold not to have one. That'll be next week, probably lol
It was about then that I recognised the sound of church bells ringing from the Church of John The Baptist at the bottom end of Grainger Street. I couldn't resist and went through the gate and into the grounds. The sound of the bells was amazing and I rang Noel so he could hear what I was hearing. The churchyard is the scene of an important part of my new story. I felt like I was being heralded for being there. I began to record the sound of the bells. For about 15 minutes I held my phone to the clock tower while the chiming went on. I couldn't stay much longer, though, and I thought about keeping the recording going only as long as a fade-out into the traffic of noise as I walked away. Two steps out of the church gate and the bells immediately ceased. Ha! That was a spooky moment in the dark of the night. I felt I was being told, in no uncertain terms, that the peal of the bells was only for me! I mean, why did they chime as I approached the church, then stop abruptly the moment I left? To attract me? Persuade me to pay a visit? Then to inform me that they had chimed only for me as I was leaving? A shivery thought! A lovely one, too.
I noticed there were only three flowers left on the lawn as the dusk drew in. There are three people in the story associated with the churchyard...
I've got the recording on my new phone, which uses bluetooth to transfer files to computers. I have to investigate how to do that now. I'm sure it's simple enough, though I'm preparing myself for the usual idiotic error messages...
A day to remember x

To do, or not to do

Well, it's Saturday and the first day of my two weeks off. Just as I was about to go out, I discovered that a Fred Astaire film was starting: The Gay Divorcee!  I ask you, what a name. Of course, it meant something different then, so don't let it put you off!  Fred's version of Night And Day is not that great, but it was the dancing with Ginger that I was looking forward to. It never disappoints, though I sometimes wonder what it would have been like with Eleanor Powell, instead. There's a dancer! Still, Ginge could cut it, so why ...  but that's me, always wondering.
And so, from Monday, I will be writing like crazy for two weeks - or should that be: writing like a crazy man? Because that's how I feel. I've not been the the most clear-thinking of writers, lately. It's probably to do with my notes: some of them are unclear. Some of them don't go far enough, and some of them just aren't there! It'll be fun, though, which is how it should be.
The engine's running ;-)

It's not all bad

The brilliant Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and I headed off to Lindisfarne, or Holy Island as it's also called. Noel's wife Chris couldn't come, which is just as well as we probably would have had to carry her up some of the dunes. I swear someone's changed the layout. Jeez, it was climb every mountain the closer we got to the beach. I fell, Noel fell; he fell again, I fell again. Even the Vikings would have given up their invasions the way things are now. We were shattered by the time we got to the shore, accompanied by the sound of seals 'laughing' at us from the water. Same to you lads - I bet our fish n chips in Berwick tasted a lot better than your raw fish a la Gollum lol
Still, it was windy enough to blow the cobwebs from my head and I began to feel a bit better about my latest work. And I also needed some space, and a chat with Noel, once I'd rediscovered that my writing heroes (Tolkien/Dickens/Koontz/Banks to name a few) did the same things I did. Or was I doing the same as them??? Well, they came before me, so I guess I must be just a copycat. ;-)
All in all, it was a great day. A step forward mentally, and the company and conversation was great. Positive...

Editing

I'm breaking rules.
I'm breaking POV rules. Breaking 'interest' rules. I'm boring the ass out of everyone because I'm looking at the things from the wrong angle. Sometimes, that is, but that's all it takes. Sometimes is too many times.
You know, I've never sent or presented anyone loose work. I'm not a rough writer. Yet I'm so proud of this new story, I believe I can show any one of my readers an unedited chapter and it will stand up to scrutiny. Totally forgetting it has never worked for me, and never will. No matter how good I think it to be, this story won't be going anywhere in a hurry unless I edit it first. And by 'edit', I mean rewrite. I've always written stuff loose. But then, when I need someone to look at it properly, I give it the works.
The only chapter that has had the works is the first chapter. And it's the only one that works from start to finish. It took a blast from Solvey before I galvanised myself properly to write it the right way. After that, Solvey said it was 'focused'; Noel said it was 'self-contained'; Becca said it was 'uncluttered'. A result!
The rest must be done the same way.
Note to myself: without the need for prompting...

Curious tale of the exploding spud!

Just me being careless; I stuck a couple of large spuds in the oven, totally forgetting to prick them to let the air out. The inevitable happened: one of them exploded when I opened the oven door!
Careless.
Which has also been the case with my writing, lately. Everything has been askew, not gelling, not exciting. As messy as my spuds on opening the oven door.
I haven't been concentrating, lately. I've been wondering why. Hmm, I'm only at my best when writing the real thing, and not the notes. I've come to understand, from the crits I've received from everybody (not least the amazing Solvey) that my notes and structure/plot writing carry little interest beyond the thought that this could be a good story. If only there weren't as many mistakes.
And that's the truth. Unless I'm writing as though my life depends on it, I'm not going to write anything that's gonna affect anyone else's life, either.
Half a thought produces half a story. Half-hearted. Half of nothing much produces nothing.
I'd better shape up, otherwise I'll lose big style... lose everything I've been working on...
To quote Elvis: A whole mess of blues!

Capturing the gloom

I'm probably gong to be in Newcastle for a short while tomorrow. And, while there, I'll visit the place that is the focal point of a good part of the story. The gravestone there is wearing now, a lot more than I feel it should. In the story, it is well looked after. But that is not the case right now. You can barely read the inscriptions on the top, though the side, naturally, is a lot better. One day, I hope, all will be revealed to the world. Until then, we're just dreamers...

Harper's Bizarre

I was in the Dolly Peel the other day, having a drink or two with a couple of friends. Like me, Trevor the manager is a Man United fan, and soon the conversation got around to new signings, leavers and the new season. Posh and Becks' new arrival also entered the discussions: Harper Seven is the little girl's name. Of course, we went around the houses, trying to work out which way and what, but in the end Trevor summed it up best:  "I suppose it's better than 'Quarter To Eight!' "
Brought the house down, I can tell you!

Suit hunting

I'll be looking at new suits, soon, as a good friend of mine is getting married on the 30th. I guess I should have been married twice, but both times the relationship fizzled out. Still, it leaves me free to make the mistake once lol I'll have moved house and written a lot of stuff by then. Hopefully, this will be a more permanent move and one which allows me to write with more freedom in my head.
I like weddings. It means there's love in the air and happiness, too. Can't have enough of that!

The Big Push

No, I haven't left work again! The urge to write is taking me over. I'm looking at stuff and seeing how it feels. Over the next two weeks, and into the two weeks off I've got coming up, I'll be exploring more of this new world I've created.
It's not the writing of it that bothers me, it's the storyline. I need to make sure the story is interesting enough and asks big questions of the hero and his friends. The reader has got to want to know more and to keep turning the page. Each chapter ending must entice the reader into the next chapter. I mustn't disappoint.
I like the title of the third book, and its BIG IDEA makes me believe there might even be a fourth. Hmmm, gotta stop getting ahead of myself. But at least all this means I'm full of ideas at this moment. A good feeling to have!

Mobile Homes

Noel the Ultimate Proofreader has got a new mobile phone. He tested it out on me today. One day, a thought will throw up a screen and your intended convo partner will appear in front of you like magic. A hologram, perhaps.
mY aNDY wARTHOL mOMENT lOL

Litopian Dream and Echoes of The Past

Just read Dave Pimm's (Solveig Anderson) latest post on his blog.
You know, when I first joined Litopia, I thought I knew a lot. I did know some things, but there were other things I didn't know about. Solvey says he's indebted to Peter Cox, and I can echo that. Things like going with your gut feeling (which I can say I did, but was never sure if I was right to) and planning - something which I never did, except for a flurry of notes before writing my next chapter. I don't do anything without planning now. My writing now is a positive testament to that, but getting published is another matter.
Let me just say, however, with a great deal of remorse and regret, that my exit from Litopia was rather spectacular, when I championed another member's complaint, which escalated into a rather unseemly argument with me refusing to back down over the level and number of critiques passing as reviews of members' work. The site is now doing what it should have been doing, I believe, but that's not even remotely down to me: more down to the law of supply and demand being allowed to work more naturally. When I think of past disagreements now, and there have been a few, I cringe! I've been part of a few workshops/forums, and not just online but non-internet places. I've helped a lot of people and they've helped me. I've written a full length story and lots of short stories as well as poems, so I have more than paid my dues with respect to 'becoming' a writer. My thoughts were, and are, valid. But I could feel Litopia was going downhill, and after all the hard work done in getting Litopia more active, I wasn't going to stand idle as the site slowly became passive again. Which it was. The success of the site came after I left. I was a lowly chargehand there, so I'm claiming nothing other than 'I told you so'. But I loved the place and still refer people to Litopia when they say they want to learn more about writing. I refer them to Critters, too, as both places have lots to offer.
But I'm not a stranger to arguments online - some things only happen after the air has been cleared - but I've always maintained that I'm brave, perhaps not reticent or politically expedient. The quote 'discretion is the better part of valour' will never apply to me, thank god! Solvey and Richard Howse remain friends from my days at Litopia, something which I class as the most important thing that has happened after my days there.
But here's a curiosity: solvey mentioned The Lord Of The Rings. I did a huge amount of research involving future readers of a similarly-written fantasy. The fantasy wot I wrote! The overwhelming conclusion I reached was that readers wanted a new Tolkien. No matter which way I looked at the answers people gave - the vast majority complained about the lack of Tolkienesque writing. They wanted more, and he was dead.
Now, I can be accused of being a Tolkien copycat. I actually was accused and I blasted back in no uncertain terms. But there was a reason for writing in the manner I chose: history.
Consider these: Ivanhoe, Great Expectations, The Lord Of The Rings. All written in a similar way, modified naturally by the times in which they were written. But, to me, all three could have been written by the same writer.
So what is wrong with writing like Tolkien? He wrote like Dickens, who wrote like Sir Walter Scott. A rhetorical question, as there is no answer that maybe makes sense. Millions of readers can't find the new Tolkien/Dickens/Scott, because he/she won't be published in the modern day. Unless the story fits the picture of this modern time. It comes back to my initial, and still only, reason that makes sense to me: the story that links the chain of these three greats must be a great one. A modern one. It hasn't happened yet. The story, that is. The story, the story, the story. With great people in it. I am trying to write it. Early indications from my wonderful readers are that I'm not far off - I think...
Now, what I'm rambling on about is this: what if The Lord Of The Rings is echoed in solvey's Margrave series. And Dickens' characters came alive there, and Ivanhoe rode through it. Could this be allowed? Tell you what, they wouldn't half sell!!!! (Erm, they already do Ed.)
Good cider, this Stella Artois...

Twitter

There's a guy on twitter who says he likes Joe McElderry. The twitter is not me, nor is the photo! But it's my name!!! I'm not a twitter - just came across it whilst looking, vain-like, for what was against my name on the internet. Eeeh, and there's me thinking I was the one and only lol
Oh well, maybe it's a distant relative or summat.
Joe McElderry... sheesh!

The Viking Sagas

BBC4 showed a documentary tonight on the Viking Sagas. How I'd love to have been let loose on them to rewrite this most peculiar of Legend series.
As a kid in junior school at St Bede's, I was noted for bringing in all kinds of comics - more notably Spiderman, The Fantastic Four and Superman. I also brought in comics such as Thor and his magical hammer. The stories about Thor weren't that great in the mags (or comic books, as MG says they should be called!), but everyone read them, all the same. I remember when our tutor, Mrs Gardner, fell ill and the Head, Mr Hallas, took over our class for the run-up to the 11-plus exam. Picking up my Thor comic, he asked everyone who had read it to put their hands up. Most of the boys did, but none of the girls. Then he asked all of the boys to draw a picture of their own idea of Thor. My pic was useless, as I can't draw to save my life, but one of my mates was a guy called Andrew Keedy, who is now a noted local artist, and his pic was brilliant. He managed to capture the feeling of life in the time of the Vikings, which was a slightly different feeling to that of the image of Thor.
At St Joseph's, I found a book on the Viking Saga, and another on Nordic legends, and was extremely disappointed. They were written by someone who didn't have any feeling for the stuff he/she was writing about. I've read others, and the writers again seemed not to care too much as to whether their intended audience would like what they were reading. Maybe, I wonder, this is the reason why they have failed to take off.
Writing a comic book about Thor, Loki, Asgar and Valhalla is easy with titles like those. Translating them into film is not that difficult a step. Try using other names from the Norse legends and, in most parts of the world, you will turn people off. Therein lies the main problem: attraction. As much as I have read them in the past, I'm not deeply moved to read them again. I'll just get annoyed!
But still, I'd love to rewrite them. Maybe, if I never get published - a probability - I might just do it for my own pleasure, as they are great legends just poorly represented. You never know!

You can't unstitch the past

Nope, you can't... all you can do is not regret too much and try to do things better in the future. Don't kill yourself over your mistakes. Looking ahead is far better than looking over your shoulder - you're less likely to fall over again, for sure... and I've fallen over lots, I can tell you!

But I'm still around, still looking at blank pages and trying to fill them with something. Will it ever amount to anything? Can what you believe is art actually exist if no-one else sees it? The inner turmoil.

Crazy life...

A piece of magic

In the end, I realised I had better map out what was going to happen in the next few chapters, otherwise I was going to get lost. I was glad I did this, as it cleared my head and allowed me to think about things a bit more. Of course, I haven't written a total plan, but the order of events thus far created looks a lot better than the small fog of confusion drifting about my thoughts.
Something must have clicked, though, during this bout of planning, for suddenly I had an idea. A little piece of magic crept in where there wasn't any to be seen. Ha! Amazing what you can achieve with a bit of thought. I'm not saying I would have thought of it later, given that it wasn't originally there, but I do wonder why I thought of it now. Perhaps some magic was needed, or was going to be needed, and I subconsciously picked up on it. Not sure where it will occur within the story, but it must and will! Yeehaa! I'm smiling as I head off to bed.
Two other pieces of magic to reflect on: the first, Manchester United's defeat of Chelsea inches them closer to the title and adds more confidence to everyone as they prepare for the Champions League Final; the second, the tv trailer for Game Of Thrones does give me some hope that my epic fantasy (rejected and set aside for a while) may one day be revisited. But that is a long way away. I don't read it, now; I prefer to keep it fresh and hidden away until I need to go back to it.
So, I'm rather upbeat right now. Not writing quickly, but writing what I hope is something good. At about half way my trusted readers will see what they've helped me with. Fun and the future!

A scene revisited

I did say that I would be returning to the scene that was the ending of the first chapter. And I have - a new extra chapter has been created from it, placed further down the line, all typed up and ready for revision at some future point. Two chapters out of one and both of them necessary to the development of the story: can't be bad, can it? The story is now moving on and heading into deeper waters. Sink or swim lol
Briefly looking through what I've put together, it's apparent that almost all of the chapters have that unfinished feel about them. This is good, as I will want to make them feel finished after reviewing them. I did have a slight dilemma, in that there was a nagging thought that I should go and complete them before moving on. Sanity prevailed, as there are so many chapters still to do and write up that I would have been stalling progress at the very point I needed to be making progress. No contest!
There will come a point when it would seem madness to carry on without ensuring everything was as good as I could have made it. I do know, more or less, where that point is. But, at the moment, I have to keep writing into the future. Feeling good about what's there so far, though :-)

Time to move on, I think...

I've found it a little bit difficult to write where I am. The flat I'm in, though in a nice area and looks nice, is not all it was cracked up to be. You can't sleep in the main bedroom when it's windy; parts of the wiring and other 'home' things could have been done better. Other stuff, as well. It feels more like a run down hotel room. Still, I have the power to move, so I probably will. Part of my policy of not settling for second best. Oh, and I've put a stop to immediate comments on this blog. I need to check them, first. I know I don't write very much of interest in this place, but someone put a rather non-complimentary, anonymous comment here concerning the Mayans and 2012, just because I happened to mention it in a blog post. I was even informed that the world would end in the year 3 thousand and something! Guess I'll just miss it by a few years. Me being me, I'd love to have discussed what was said. Then again: an anonymous comment? Something tells me that whoever it was wasn't being friendly...

Who'd be a writer?

Or should that be 'Who'd try to be a writer?' Solvey's flagging up of yet another internet incident was a reminder of just how tough it can be when you present your thoughts to the writing world in the form of a story. Whatever the rights and wrongs, the whole thing could have been avoided by keeping reviews initially internal, away from the public eye. Both the writer and the reviewer, along with the website administrators, could determine the veracity of the argument. The all-important word integrity needs a look-up. It was self-published ffs. There had been no hammer beforehand by anyone other than the writer. The review that sparked the latest row was actually rather light in terms of assistance to the reader. It lacked substance, which, I believe, caused the negativity - true or false - to stand out. Nothing, though, could have prepared anyone for the writer's response! Don't get me wrong: I've had a blast back at reviewers and commentators in the past. It is everyone's right to defend yourself, especially if you are right. You cannot say 'don't defend yourself in public' if the review is made in public. However, you really must try to determine if you are right if you are going to argue back. Being poked with a pointed stick is no fun, and some people sharpen their sticks for no other reason than jealousy and their own inability to get anywhere, or to be recognised as good in their chosen field. "Look at me! I'm disease free!" is usually the real motive behind the stick. They are trying to impress someone, and may have their backing for any number of reasons. The reviewer is not always right, and if there is no reply, other people who are inexperienced, open to suggestion because of their lack of experience/knowledge, may believe the reviewer is right. What future will they have in the writing world if they follow perceived truths that are anything but the truth? And I'll repeat: it was self-published! Criticisms either way meant nothing. There was no pass or fail along the way. It just went up for sale by personal right. No agent; no traditional publisher. I'll leave the indies out, as the spiral hasn't been fully established yet. Enough said. I've got four trusted readers who I can rely on to give true reviews, as opposed to reviews with ulterior motives: Solvey, Noel, Rich and Becca. They are worth a million would-be fiction reviewers I've encountered. And they work with a view to agent/publisher submissions. Not self-publishing.

A weekend's a long time in football

So it proved! My beloved Man Utd produced a second half performance, the like of which no other team could have produced - discounting Newcastle's 4-4 draw with Arsenal, which was great to see, but which was a rarity away from Man Utd. And everyone else's results were not good enough. Surely, we have begun the push towards greater glory at the end of the season! Two months are a long time in writing, too. Especially when I haven't written anything down on paper. I'm thinking about stuff, though, and an idea I've had, which, if it works, could open up things even further in terms of direction. I must guard against introducing new things without thinking of the consequences. But it seems to be a good thing this time, and could be used later in any future books - if I manage to create them. I won't write until I must, so I have to wait. Won't be long, as I can feel it. It's the way of my current method. It's worked so far, as it's kept me seeing and writing the same vision. Can't be bad, can it?

Phoenix from the flames

That was a much better peformance from the guys in red! Arsenal played well enough, but they had no answer to the relentless movement the new formation created. The da Silva brothers were a revelation in their forward postions, and the return of Valencia gave me great hope for the future. Even Gibson showed more than he has been. Not sure what's going down with Berbatov. It may be that he doesn't fit in any more - his recent rise to prominence came when nobody else up front was doing it. Now that Hernandez and Rooney are showing signs of gelling, Nani and Valencia might find even more space to create stuff. I'd be surprised if Berbatov puts up with the substitute bench and I think he could be off to Europe next year. I hope he proves me wrong, though.
I think Marseille don't have anything to offer and our glorious Red Devils might sneak this Champions League. The Premiership is OURS!

Quo vadis?

Now that I'm well into the story proper and contemplating the future, I've found myself again thinking about the kind of agent who might be interested in my tale. I've looked around and noted the names of agents who are looking for science-fantasy. One of the agents listed is the one that gave me my best-ever reply to an earlier work, but which also gave me my worst rejection, in terms of emotional impact.
"Your work is very well-written, and you have done well to send this to me."
My heart-rate increased.
"Unfortunately, my preference is for dark fantasy, and I would therefore find myself unable to represent you..."
My heart stopped. I'd hit the post... again.
With this new one, I feel like I'm writing a big one (well, that's always the plan with my stuff), with future tales attached. Hate to think I'll hit the post with it, though I have to be prepared for it.
On that note, I sincerely hope Man U don't hit the post against Arsenal like they did against Liverpool. I can take defeat in an important match, but not in the manner of that last one. Not recommended!
Saturday... a new day...

The Devil may care!

No, I'm not getting all religious! As you can see by a couple of my friends' comments, it's easy to dismiss if you don't actually care. And why should they? Another question could be: why don't they? Personally, I think most people actually shy away from the truth (or a difficult question), preferring not to dwell and, instead, make light of things. They probably do care, just won't go there. Or have been there and won't go back there, for some reason.
Experiment over: I got the answers I expected. And one that I didn't expect, so I deleted it - well, it is my page!

As a writer, though, I have to go there.

But I've had to ask myself: who would be interested in a story that may ask more than the usual questions of life over death? How many would care? Obviously, some people wouldn't care, in any walk of life.

So I guess, then, you have to ask the right people. You have to attract the right audience, or appeal to the right people. The ones who care. So who are they?

And if I can unearth answers - at least, answers that may not be truths but are plausible answers in relation to the story, would they accept them as possible truths and ask questions back, or reject them as rubbish and move on in search of something else?
They'd have to have bought it first! Aha! The secret to a bestseller, perhaps.
Hmm, I need to ask more questions. Especially of myself. And at least discover who my audience is expected to be.
A rather disjointed post, probably reflecting the point I've reached within the tale.
Writing life...

Who created the Devil?

Hmmm...

The Ides of July

Best not say beware of them!
But I must be aware of them!
I'll be off for two weeks in the middle of July. I fancy taking off somewhere different and contemplating my fate.
lol
At this point, I'm determined to have at least half of the story done. Further, I'm also determined that a couple of new things won't have been introduced yet and so there will be something left to freshen things up and help to maintain interest. Of course, if I'm desperate for change at that point, then I'll probably be in trouble. It's not a sticking point for me, just I'd like to think my sleeve is large enough to hold something important that's going to be hidden up there.
My reminder to myself not to let up with anything, nor must I rush anything. Timing...

A far window

Having written the eighth chapter in brief, and while preparing for its imminent expansion, I began to look at my notes and the future steps I must take as the story began to move upon its own propulsion. I say 'own', as it is the personality portraits I have created that have thus far carried the narrative to this point i.e. I've tried to write the story while matching the personality traits and past life histories that brought everyone there.
But that was dealing with the initial premise of the story, which, at some indeterminate point, I knew would fan out into a tale of conflicting destinies. Roughly translated, I had always known I'd better get these moments right, or the cab would jump from the rollercoaster track and I'd be lost in double-quick time.
In about two or three chapters, I feel I will have to stop writing in order to plan the steps toward the mid-point of the story. Although the mid-point is there in my notes, I get the feeling that there is a lack of knowledge and information dealing with the happenings around this time. Although I do know what happens, it seems pretty certain that I'd better plan with more thoroughness the movement to it, through it, and beyond it. Otherwise, I'll ruin everything and make a mess.
It won't take long; a fair amount of it is there already.
I did discuss this at length with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader, although 'discuss' is too light a word: Noel's ears are probably ringing after listening to my lengthy monologue concerning control and application. That I must write what I see, and not allow any deflections of any kind as to the direction of the story.
I did also reveal to Noel that , without overly thinking of it, I had stumbled upon the notion that two future books in this story can be seen right away. The ending of this first book contains the premise for the second book, though perhaps (not yet) its title; and the title for the third book has been discovered, though not the actual storyline - it's there, in my head, and the title inspires my thoughts, but I can't go there just yet.
I've also rediscovered the name for the hero's lover, which I've googled and also found, but her nature and presence I've not fully crystallised. I'm getting there with her. Just got to be careful that I represent her truthfully.
Lots of doors; lots of trapdoors.

This road...

... seems to stretch on and on.
I did say that I'd like to spend more time with friends and family. Nothing ever seems to pan out the way you want, though. A social life and a writer's life are often contradictions in terms: you can't have one with the other. Some people can do both, and I hope they do. I'm one who can't; something has to give, and I have to write. I changed my life in 2006, leaving Local Govt for good. Life, and illness, and everything that came with it, stopped everything for quite a while. I know that now. Everything changes for a reason, and who I was is not who I am now. I can't afford to waste this opportunity. It won't come again.
I've got five days off from the 14th, during which time I'll be piecing together the movement into what I've always termed 'the river', or the main storyline. Up to now I've been introducing the hero and his friends, and an elusive enemy. Most of the scene has been set, hopefully without any static, and lots of intrigue - my 'take' on how this story should begin. Of course, my marvellous readers have virtually dictated the opening chapter's style. It was the only place in the whole story for it, and it works. So I can listen when I have to!
Noel the Ultimate Proofreader has made a very good point: that I've given myself a massive task. Noel's natural concern that I do it justice after I'd explained some things in the tale that nobody knows yet. It's a big ask, I know, and quite a few times I have wondered if I was up to it. Solvey's poem challenge indicated to me that I can pick up anything and make something of it. It was a relatively small thing, but big enough to mean quite a lot. The same attitude will be needed to complete this story. Every writer should be lke this, inside their head. Only time will tell if I'm actually like this for real.
I'm having fun, though, in that I am, at last, doing what I set out to do in 2006. Things have taken shape, and very much in the way I wanted them to. This story can only look one way, so I must ensure that it does. One day this child will grow into adulthood.
Not sure if I meant the story or me... :-)

Editing

I've done quite a bit of editing, lately. I had to: there were too many rough lines and repetitions. I've enjoyed it, though. It made me go back over everything and evaluate previous chapters. I have a slight problem, in that I'm not 100% sure whether the current seventh chapter is actually the eighth. The one that may have to go before it hasn't been written yet, but there are some good notes waiting for me to read about it (told you I had planned a bit beforehand). I'll make a decision after that. It's good, though - I'm into the story and heading into more of the future happenings. There are subjects that I haven't touched on, but they will appear and I'm not too far off exploring them.
I haven't used any of the flashbacks yet, either. They are for later and must be placed at the most revealing points in the story.
I do feel a bit 'lighter' in my head about everything. I guess I had been getting bogged down with a million things. Actually, I feel like I've fallen through a hole in a wall and discovered an exciting world, only to realise I am still in the original one, just a different place.
Odd, but good!
So, if I'm now going to write a new chapter, and there are lots still to come, I'll need my pen...

My New Year's Resolution

I made a half-decent bolognese tonight. I was tired and it was easy: out of a jar and out of a packet. There was enough to feed four, but I whittled it down to two after I had two platefuls. A triple chin awaits!
Got me thinking...
Work and writing have conspired to separate me from my friends and family. It's my fault, of course - I do have a choice. I have such wonderful friends and family, so I should see more of them. I do feel I haven't been the greatest of friends, nor the greatest relative. Wrestling with words takes it out of you, but that's no reason to neglect your life. It will pass you by before you know it. And I know it.
The rest of this week will see me completing those first seven chapters. I've written every day since Christmas Eve, and when I return to work on the 10th, I'll allow myself to get into more of a general routine.
So, to my New Year's resolution. Two, actually.
The first is, of course, to be the best writer that I can be. The second is to see more of my friends and family. There is no excuse for doing neither.

Unemptiness

I said this.
Sheesh!