Falling leaves...

I keep seeing them. How they relate to what I'm about to write is up to me, I guess, but they seem relevant. They seem to represent death. But it's what they become, not what they are, that is the key.
I've settled on a certain new first chapter. One that carries links with the past in the tale, but which also foretells danger for those who are left to carry on. I'm not entirely sure that this is the right way to go, or even that it is necessary, given that I like the original first chapter (now the second chapter). But the scene I'm writing seems to have no place later in the story, and the very beginning is as natural a point for it to exist as I can find - meaning that I was going to write it (it's in my notes) but hadn't found a place for it up until now.
It's possible that, after writing it, this may still not be a first chapter. But it will have been written and I can make a decision afterwards. I guess, after having the original first chapter there, in front of me, for ages makes it difficult to view another one in its place.
Still, on with it. See where it goes!

Where's foxy?

Well, the council have been out in force, cutting stuff everywhere - at least it looked like the council. To the point where, to my horror, the copse looks rather ragged and threadbare. Anyway, foxy has gone, or seems to have gone. I've left food there, and it disappears, but that could be anything. Just there's no sign of the little mite. Hmmm. I hope he's all right.
Mind you, it doesn't have to be the hand of man that upsets anything. It's quite nice looking at the woods and the wildlife, listening to the noises and stuff, but I came across some kind of hawk tearing a wood pigeon to pieces. What a shock! I was both fascinated and horrified at the same time. Nothing I could do, of course. Darwin had a point, and who was I to even attempt to interfere. Nature's cruel, but that's life in the wild. Strewth!
Still, I'll keep putting food out for a while and see what happens.
On the writing front, I've written nothing. Talked about it, thought about it, going through things, but not written anything. Just there's not much urgency in my head to do it right now. I don't know why. I will be looking at it tonight. Atmosphere; opening words. What am I missing? I need to study things. Let's see how it goes...

Clean-up

Had a bit of a tidy of my blog. Youtube's messing with videos and references has caused one or two vids having to be removed. Some vids have just gone missing completely. Pehaps they'll come back. I might've buggered off by then lol

Oh, to be a vegetarian...

You know, I did wonder why I gave young foxy a pork pie, when I've always liked pork pies. And today, with some odd reluctance, I cooked up a chicken dinner. This reluctance was confirmed by my lack of enjoyment while eating it. Not like me, I can tell you. Seems like I'm going off meat, for some reason.
I've got stuff for sandwiches, soup in the freezer with meat in it, leftover chicken, bacon n stuff.
None of it appeals. I'd rather just have something plain, like wheatgerm bread and butter. And fruit juice rather than fizzy drinks. Hot chocolate as opposed to coffee - well, some of the time!
A symptom of getting older, perhaps?
Absolutely no idea what's going on internally, but I feel like I'm changing. Maybe it's moving to this new place. Perhaps I've discovered a new outlook, with it.
Soon it will be 2010.
Tried to find a play on words with Space Odyssey and food, but I couldn't.
I need a beer!

Help! again...

Yep, the Fabs are on tv tonight - 10.45 pm on BBC2. Great fun! I'll watch it tonight. They don't make 'em like this any more.
On the subject of help (tenuous, I know), I've had another conversation with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader. Noel has revealed that he likes the poem at the beginning and the name of the young girl, and that one of his favourite bits is the last line of the third chapter, which refers to a cat. He also enjoys the atmosphere, which I build from the beginning of the current first chapter, and the fact that I have enough in the form of people in the story to create interaction and events that mean something. Noel hopes that the cat will play a larger part as the story goes on. No worries on that score, I assured him!
Solvey believes that the story has great potential, but, like Noel, feels the beginning needs some kind of punch or memorablity to be more effective as a beginning.
I'm writing an opening that, I hope, reveals danger to the audience and also gives more information to the audience than the hero is allowed. It's not a reversal, but it is death by murder - a strong event that will only work if I write it well enough.
The original and now-removed prologue is a rather flat flashback that is probably unnecessary - perhaps the other flashbacks will be emphasised because of this removal. I don't want many of them, for sure, so we will have to see there.

Into the void

At last, I've begun to write the chapter that may be the first chapter. Lol, how many first chapters did I write in my previous magnum opus? Not nearly enough, I suspect. It's a tentative step, though only the successful writing of it will convince me that it's the correct one. This new chapter must illustrate the danger the hero and his friends are in. Otherwise it will fail and I will revert to the beginning I have.
The beginning I have, with the prologue now removed, is a good one. The chapter I'm now creating must be at least as good.
I remember a conversation way back at Litopia, where Oscuridad (Dave Bartram in their podcasts) said that he had written a story that was full of intrigue and politics, yet it seemed that the more successful stories he was looking at, at the time, were more likely to contain murder, or attempted murder. Something along those lines.
It's a fact that if the reader is not placed in mortal danger through the people in the story, then if the genre in which the tale is set requires such a scenario, your story is in mortal danger, too - of failing.
I will be attempting to illustrate this in the new chapter. Failure will only be temporary, as I really will need to move on to the rest of the tale. Future writings may reveal a truer opening chapter. But let's see how I get on.
p.s.
Little foxy got a pork pie out of me, yesterday. At one with nature...

Prologue-less

And there it wasn't!
I've removed the prologue as a part of the story itself. I will keep it for reference, but for now we have the poem and then the opening lines of the first chapter.
Obviously, I need to consider whether the opening chapter should be the opening chapter. Should there be another chapter before that?
Of course, I can't say for definite right now. It's difficult looking at the beginning without the prologue being there. I have what seems to be the perfect type of opening in my head, but I must remember that my first chapter 'as-is' seems like a good one to me. Why change things further?
Watching The Da Vinci Code last night shows what a beginning can be. Does it need to be like that? The one I have in mind is like that. But will it now look like everybody else's first chapter?
Well, the prologue is no more. Small steps for now.
Food for thought...

What now?

So, I now have three chapters that actually run together at the beginning of the book. I hope I've illustrated the hero as a good guy and someone worth following. The problem is, it is more than likely that I haven't written an opening capable of attracting an agent, or even whoever reads it first at an agent's office.
I like the poem. There are more later in the book to illustrate certain abilities and happenings.
I like the prologue, which may never see the light of day. Unless, as solvey has rightly suggested, I add more to it. However, adding more to it might make it too long. The prologue was necessary in order to form an idea in my head. Now it's there in my head, perhaps the prologue is a detractor, or a distraction. I don't know, really I don't. In any event, the prologue will never be sent to an agent. But it will be there as added information if it is ever needed. Everything I've done may be taken down as evidence! Evidence I can write? Or not...
There is a strong probability that I'll write an opening very soon, and take out the prologue. I think Solvey and Noel would expect that. Forward momentum, as both have impressed upon me.
Right! Roll 'em!

2-0

Just about unanimous. Both Solvey and Noel say the same thing: the first chapter has to be dynamic and it has to grab the reader immediately. The 'reader' being the agent in the first instance, and then the editor.
In short, although I have no problem writing lucid and entertaining prose with a dash of style ;-), I probably would grab no agent or editor with the first chapter I created.

I don't think I can write a new first chapter right now. I need to consider more of what my story is about. I do believe I have the chapter at hand, but I won't write it until I'm sure. As the chapter I have in mind doesn't involve the hero of the story, then it may not be the right way to start.

However, nothing I've written will be discarded, as I may have to put them back, or use them anyway as they need to be there.

The Lord Of The Rings had no great and wondrous start. Neither did The Hobbit. Neither does Use Of Weapons, nor Seize The Night. Nor does Great Expectations. All my own personal points of reference. However, they may not hold the key to my latest work with regard to the opening chapter. I need to think, and to do!

However, I must also be careful not to write a beginning that causes changes to the text already conceived and written. I like what I've done, so any beginning has to fit the story as I see it. If I really can't write a beginning that has a humdinger of start then I mustn't worry. First and foremost, everything must be well-written and carry style. Then there must be a story worthy of the name and memorable people to populate it.

The beginning will reveal itself, I'm sure, just it doesn't need to be written until I'm ready to write it. That's the nub of it, really. Solvey and Noel are absolutely right. But I'll probably not know how it should start until after I get further in. I may never know and someone else may suggest it. It's fun, though - no need to get depressed about it. There's a long way to go, so I mustn't rush and then ruin everything.
Thanks guys, I really do appreciate your help.
Keep you posted...

At last!

The beginning has been finished! At least, the beginning as I see it. I've sent it off to Noel, Dave and Rich. Hopefully, these three masters will let me know what they think.
Ah well, on with the rest of the show...

It's gonna be a long season...

I shouldn't be bothered that we didn't win the Community Shield, but to give up a lead so easily against Chelsea? I don't know why De Laet didn't play; nor why Valencia was on the subs bench. Those two decisions probably cost us. Rooney was marginalised for almost the whole game, too, until the goal he scored right at the end.
And why was Nani presented as free-kicker-in-chief? His goal was good, but the rest of it promised more than he could deliver. Shame about his injury, as he deserves a chance, but he wasn't building on the goal.
Yep, a long season all right!

Back On The Road

A hard road, actually. Solvey has asked some serious questions of my stuff and he hasn't seen the new beginning yet! What's he gonna be like when he finds my offering in his email inbox???
The opinions of Solvey, Rich and Noel count for such a lot. If I can get this past them then I will know I'm on the right track. Not long now, actually, as it's a matter of typing up and then smoothing out a few kinks. A few days at most. Mind you, I've quite a few months of work ahead of me. This really is the beginning.
Meanwhile, check out the interviews on Maria Harris' blog. Great stuff and shows how far she has come and gives a fair indication of how far she will go. I'm rather envious, but in a good way: it's great to see success happening and growing. Proof that it does happen.