It's Only Words

Don't tell anyone, but I only wrote about 250 words yesterday. Actually, it was last night - late last night. And it was roughly 240 more than I did the day before. I'd love to have written more, but I couldn't. I kept thinking that I could have written it better, and that I could have added more to what I'd done. I also thought that I shouldn't - that I needed to think a bit about what I'd done. Having slept on it, I now have an idea or two of what to add. Hmmm, could I be turning into a writer of some sort? Nah...

Planning and the beginning revisited

My mistake in the past was to just dive in and see how things looked when I came out the other side.
Planning as I have done, and talking as I have done with trusted voices (Noel, Solvey, Rich, to name an illustrious few), I have come up with a handful of beginnings. I need to consider them carefully before coming up with the one. I may even come up with a different one altogether to those I already have. I'll come up with one, I know.
This is gonna hurt...

In the laptop of the gods

I went out with some friends on Friday gone. It was great. Except, one of my friends asked me if I was okay. Apparently, I was rather quiet and didn't seem my normal self. I knew why I had been quiet, but didn't feel inclined to say.
'Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit tired, that's all.'
Actually, I was thinking about my latest work. Writing was imminent. The building-up-to-it period was almost over. All I had to do was sort out a couple of things on a laptop, and I'd be on my way.

So I'm sitting here with a cup of decaff and some cheesecake, filling myself with comfort food before the pain and angst sets in. I know it's going to hurt. Not for me the 'statutory number of words a day and I'll be ok' routine. When I write, I write. All day and all night. I stop when I'm really too tired and I begin again when I'm really too tired. I think about it non-stop. Like now.

Last night I sorted out my laptop. I am about to begin this latest journey. In my heart I don't just want to be a writer - I want to be one of the gods. But I've knocked on the door to Valhalla before and nobody answered. Nobody heard me. Maybe I will knock harder this time. With Thor's hammer!

Proof Positive!

This isn't related to my previous post. Just I felt I'd better put up some examples of my writing, in case anyone reading this blog might think I just talk about it, but don't actually do it. Whether it's any good or not is open to debate, but I really do try to write stuff!
I've left off the short stories as I don't think I'm a short story writer - they were a means to an end, a means to writing full-length stories better, exercises more like. At Bedtime-Story is a short story of mine, if you want to check one out. There are works by many other people there - The Rag Doll is a favourite. The site appears to be dead, or at least they don't reply to emails any more. The 'email the author' bit doesn't work there any more, either, so I've stopped getting people telling me how good my story is! ;-)
Sorry there's only one poem. Somehow, I've lost all of the others. This was the last of them, so I hope I was getting better at it.
And there you go: now you have 'Some Writing' to look at. Don't kill me!

The Fear Of Losing (or Mistakes Of An Afternoon)

I never thought I'd say this, but I lost interest in Manchester United this afternoon. Only after the first 90 minutes, mind you; and only during extra time. But I did. I just didn't recognise them. They were only marginally more positive than against AC Milan. Or should that be 'less negative'?
Everything my favourite team stood for disappeared today. It was depressing to watch. A fear of losing seemed to have taken hold on the whole lot of them. A team with Rooney and Ronaldo in it played like a team without Rooney and Ronaldo in it. I'll get over the defeat, I'm sure. Not sure I'll get over the manner of it.
It got me thinking. Writing is like that. You have to write without fear; write in the positive. Never be negative, even when you hit a snag, a problem, that seems unsolvable. Just keep thinking and it will turn around. You'll work it out.
Paul McCartney said that his best stuff came out of not worrying. Just keep doing it and it will come out fine. David Bowie is the master of that. Always, always, always does he come out with stuff that came from not being afraid.
Looking at my latest work, I'm still in the planning stage. I feel I shouldn't be. I really haven't done that much planning - just tried to crystallize each person in the story (mainly in the belief that if I get them right, then the storyline will take care of itself). There are other elements to the tale that flow along with it, but the river is there. I'm sure of it.
I gotta stop worrying. Maybe my failure to get published with 'Sword' is part of my anxiety. It was a huge project and nobody wanted it. But I recognise that - the failure - so it's not like I'm hiding from it. The positive side is that I've done other things, short stories, poetry. Now I'm attempting this latest novel.
What on earth am I going on about?
I have to stop worrying.
Write. Just write. I just gotta write.

Superheroes

How I loved the superhero mags. But how I wonder about the superhero films. Except, perhaps, the first Christopher Reeve Superman film, and the latest Batman Begins. Now those two are seriously good.
I think it's because of a childhood perception which persists today: that I always remember the mag stories as serious works, with the humour coming out of the minds/mouths of the heroes themselves. I never considered them as parodies (they gave no hint of it). They never seemed like spaghetti westerns - at least, I can't remember them being like that. I was very young then, so maybe some of it went over my head. I just feel there is too much 'aren't we clever' stuff in the subsequent Superman etc films. Even Spidey doesn't quite hit the mark for me. And he was my fave. Maybe it's because I never did sell enough mags to buy the mini-sub, so I've become bitter and twisted over the years. Maybe I'm just bitter and twisted full stop!
LOL
Yeah, that's what it is.
You know, there is one superhero who fascinates me the most - yet he is the least explored: Namor, the bane of the Fantastic Four. Apparently, he was the first ever superhero, just he was eclipsed by subsequent creations. A shame, I reckon. Still, it's a public vote. The public roolz!!

Of Course!

Way back, when the first germ of an idea for my latest novel appeared inside my head, I decided that the beginning needed to be active and relating solely to the protagonist. During a period of planning, I decided to leave that for later. Instead, I would lead up to it.
Wrong!!
Following a brief, but sparkling, conversation with Solvejg Anderson (whose maggotfarm blog-link is listed here), I realised I had been right the first time. Solvey, quite rightly, predicted a possible slow death for my novel if I started with my new chapter.
Thinking about this all afterwards, I realised I shouldn't have taken the original one out.
I like this new chapter, though. First impressions indicate that it could be the third chapter. It may come later. But it won't come first. It can't.
Dead right!!
Cheers, solvey.

The Last Midnight

As intimated in the title of this blog, everything has a shelf life. Pretty soon, the last midnight comes along, and after it: well, something has to happen, even if it is only the end.

I've quite enjoyed doing this blog. It helped me identify a few problem areas in my writing and allowed me a bit of breathing (and thinking) space. Certainly, setting it up, posting, listing some favourite books, films and pieces of music helped me to think with more purpose.

However, believing that I at last know which way I'm going with my latest work, I feel it's time to leave the blogging alone for a while. The Last Midnight has served its purpose for me very well. Now it's time to focus. Time to concentrate on what I do best.

Oh, by the way - The Last Midnight is a song from Stephen Sondheim's Broadway musical Into The Woods. It didn't last long on British tv, but I couldn't forget it. Look it up.
Have fun!
I'll be around.