Proof Positive!

This isn't related to my previous post. Just I felt I'd better put up some examples of my writing, in case anyone reading this blog might think I just talk about it, but don't actually do it. Whether it's any good or not is open to debate, but I really do try to write stuff!
I've left off the short stories as I don't think I'm a short story writer - they were a means to an end, a means to writing full-length stories better, exercises more like. At Bedtime-Story is a short story of mine, if you want to check one out. There are works by many other people there - The Rag Doll is a favourite. The site appears to be dead, or at least they don't reply to emails any more. The 'email the author' bit doesn't work there any more, either, so I've stopped getting people telling me how good my story is! ;-)
Sorry there's only one poem. Somehow, I've lost all of the others. This was the last of them, so I hope I was getting better at it.
And there you go: now you have 'Some Writing' to look at. Don't kill me!

The Fear Of Losing (or Mistakes Of An Afternoon)

I never thought I'd say this, but I lost interest in Manchester United this afternoon. Only after the first 90 minutes, mind you; and only during extra time. But I did. I just didn't recognise them. They were only marginally more positive than against AC Milan. Or should that be 'less negative'?
Everything my favourite team stood for disappeared today. It was depressing to watch. A fear of losing seemed to have taken hold on the whole lot of them. A team with Rooney and Ronaldo in it played like a team without Rooney and Ronaldo in it. I'll get over the defeat, I'm sure. Not sure I'll get over the manner of it.
It got me thinking. Writing is like that. You have to write without fear; write in the positive. Never be negative, even when you hit a snag, a problem, that seems unsolvable. Just keep thinking and it will turn around. You'll work it out.
Paul McCartney said that his best stuff came out of not worrying. Just keep doing it and it will come out fine. David Bowie is the master of that. Always, always, always does he come out with stuff that came from not being afraid.
Looking at my latest work, I'm still in the planning stage. I feel I shouldn't be. I really haven't done that much planning - just tried to crystallize each person in the story (mainly in the belief that if I get them right, then the storyline will take care of itself). There are other elements to the tale that flow along with it, but the river is there. I'm sure of it.
I gotta stop worrying. Maybe my failure to get published with 'Sword' is part of my anxiety. It was a huge project and nobody wanted it. But I recognise that - the failure - so it's not like I'm hiding from it. The positive side is that I've done other things, short stories, poetry. Now I'm attempting this latest novel.
What on earth am I going on about?
I have to stop worrying.
Write. Just write. I just gotta write.

Superheroes

How I loved the superhero mags. But how I wonder about the superhero films. Except, perhaps, the first Christopher Reeve Superman film, and the latest Batman Begins. Now those two are seriously good.
I think it's because of a childhood perception which persists today: that I always remember the mag stories as serious works, with the humour coming out of the minds/mouths of the heroes themselves. I never considered them as parodies (they gave no hint of it). They never seemed like spaghetti westerns - at least, I can't remember them being like that. I was very young then, so maybe some of it went over my head. I just feel there is too much 'aren't we clever' stuff in the subsequent Superman etc films. Even Spidey doesn't quite hit the mark for me. And he was my fave. Maybe it's because I never did sell enough mags to buy the mini-sub, so I've become bitter and twisted over the years. Maybe I'm just bitter and twisted full stop!
LOL
Yeah, that's what it is.
You know, there is one superhero who fascinates me the most - yet he is the least explored: Namor, the bane of the Fantastic Four. Apparently, he was the first ever superhero, just he was eclipsed by subsequent creations. A shame, I reckon. Still, it's a public vote. The public roolz!!

Of Course!

Way back, when the first germ of an idea for my latest novel appeared inside my head, I decided that the beginning needed to be active and relating solely to the protagonist. During a period of planning, I decided to leave that for later. Instead, I would lead up to it.
Wrong!!
Following a brief, but sparkling, conversation with Solvejg Anderson (whose maggotfarm blog-link is listed here), I realised I had been right the first time. Solvey, quite rightly, predicted a possible slow death for my novel if I started with my new chapter.
Thinking about this all afterwards, I realised I shouldn't have taken the original one out.
I like this new chapter, though. First impressions indicate that it could be the third chapter. It may come later. But it won't come first. It can't.
Dead right!!
Cheers, solvey.

The Last Midnight

As intimated in the title of this blog, everything has a shelf life. Pretty soon, the last midnight comes along, and after it: well, something has to happen, even if it is only the end.

I've quite enjoyed doing this blog. It helped me identify a few problem areas in my writing and allowed me a bit of breathing (and thinking) space. Certainly, setting it up, posting, listing some favourite books, films and pieces of music helped me to think with more purpose.

However, believing that I at last know which way I'm going with my latest work, I feel it's time to leave the blogging alone for a while. The Last Midnight has served its purpose for me very well. Now it's time to focus. Time to concentrate on what I do best.

Oh, by the way - The Last Midnight is a song from Stephen Sondheim's Broadway musical Into The Woods. It didn't last long on British tv, but I couldn't forget it. Look it up.
Have fun!
I'll be around.

Eureka!

Well, not quite eureka, but mighty close. I began to address the relationship problem in my new story. Whilst doing this, I also thought of a few other things. Suddenly, I had a most productive spell of planning and, though I haven't finished, I realised that my problem wasn't how, or what, but really 'when' - when do they meet. The ensuing relationship, and the 'intermingling' (as I like to call it) with the rest of the tale, should follow on naturally. I say 'should'. Hmmm. It must - it will!

The Plot Thickens

Or, in my case, I feel like I'm the one that's thick!
Everything seemed to be coming along just nicely with my latest work. I'm making more notes, formulating plans, mulling over ideas. So far, so good. Then I hit a kerb. Suddenly I'm flying at a wall, and I know that if I don't take evasive action soon I'm gonna crash and burn!
I understand, now, that I've been neglecting the plot. Not only that, a relationship between two people in the story, that should have been so easy to fit into it all , just seems like an impossibility, to the point that the story may have to get along without it. But I don't want this. So, in order for it to exist, I have to search inside for reasons and circumstances that previously weren't there. Or were they there, just I hadn't explored them?
Will the story actually be long enough to allow such a relationship? An answer to this may be that I really have to create more than I had originally planned. That my planning, thus far, has caused me to enter a world that I didn't realise - or at least, fully realise - was there.
I'm very happy with everything I've been doing with it all, right now. I just didn't expect something that was in my head from the very beginning - long before a lot of stuff I've been dealing with lately - to be causing me problems. I'm going to have to consider some things and not go any further with my other thoughts until I've resolved them.
Yeah, I know: no pain, no gain. Obviously, I was enjoying this a little too much!

Trust thyself!

A funny thing, but I have steadfastly refused to re-read all of the stories I grew up with. The stories given to me as a child to read: Peter Pan, The Magician's Nephew, Alice In Wonderland, Billy Bunter, King Arthur, Enid Blyton stuff, Beatrix Potter's...
It's all to do with one thing: instinct. I believe that, as I grew up, I developed an instinct for certain stories, certain ways of writing, or relating, the story to an audience. My own personal instinct, for better or for worse. I have a lot of memories from the past, a huge number of them, blurred through time, glossy even. And I don't dare disturb them. They form a massive part of my thinking now. One day, I will return to them. But it will be when it's too late to affect what I'm attempting to do.
This takes me back to that word 'instinct' again.
Instincts are developed. Subconsciously. They don't just appear out of nothing. Now, setting aside any theories on evolution and creation etc etc, when it comes to everyday life you usually learn as you go - a tiny example is that drinking alcohol might make you ill. But over time, and with (lots of!) experimentation, you may be able to strike a happy medium, and develop certain tastes, preferences.
So it can be with writing. Except, you will have had a head start.
By the time you've decided to become a writer, you'll probably have been a writer for quite a while and just didn't realise it. You will have developed tastes, preferences, long before you will have put pen to paper. Instincts for writing, and particular types of writing, will already have been developed. They will have become an important part of your thinking without you consciously having to make the effort. You will add to them over time, but more consciously as you grow older and gather more experience. You are, in effect, not simply trusting your instincts. You are trusting in yourself. No better person to trust!

The beginning

The beginning for any writer can be the most difficult of times: your first writings, your first contact with other writers via websites or workgroups, your first foray into the publishing world as you search for an agent or publisher. And, of course, that first rejection. Another 'beginning' is the start of a new project. This has always been my most difficult time - I couldn't count the number of times I've had to start again with a different chapter, or I've had to do a rewrite.
Perhaps the worst a writer can do is to write when they're not ready. I guess I've done that too many times, and my work has suffered for it. In that respect, a writer can do much worse than to seek some kind of help - professional writing help.
The best advice I could give to anyone is to join a workgroup or forum. There may be one near where you live. But unless it is exceptional and has published authors or publishing-world connections, then I would suggest you cut a corner and look online. There are links on this blog to the two most important writer websites in my own writing experience on the internet.
Critters was my first influential website 'home'. I was knocked into a better shape in next to no time. Of course, I still had much to learn - I always will - but the experience of other eyes and voices questioning my work was invaluable.
Litopia followed some time after. It has grown into a website of great potential - both for the writer and the agent. I can't believe that Litopia will be a one-off. Other agents in the industry will surely follow suit.
At Litopia, I learned an invaluable lesson concerning 'the beginning' - the reason for this post. I learned that a writer needed to think about the beginning, and the rest of the book with it, at the beginning. Instead of diving in and writing away, as I had always done, there needed to be some sort of plan, a structure, before doing so. Otherwise, the writer will invariably end up in a bit of a mess before emerging out the other side. Sometimes they don't emerge at all, and the writing is abandoned, or, as is more likely to be the case, it is maybe not worth the read.
So, when it came to my latest work, I knew I had to begin things differently. I didn't want to repeat the mistakes of the past. I thought about it, made some notes, discussed it with people I trusted, then thought about it again, and made more notes. It was quite a long time before I actually began to write. But it was the most promising beginning to anything I've ever written. There was a structure in my head as well as in my notes. I haven't made a mountain of notes, nor are they very extensive. But I've found I'm able to refer to them in order to clear my mind about something. I'll write more notes as I go along, I'm sure. I feel so much happier about my latest work. A good beginning has to be better than a bad one! Notes, and some planning, contributed very much to that.

In Search Of Peter Pan

'I've been told, when I get older, that I'll understand it all. But I'm not sure if I want to,' sings the fabulous Kate Bush.
A strange sentence, that last one in the excerpt from In Search Of Peter Pan. Because, when you're young, you do want to understand. And only someone older, who is looking back, would actually say that they maybe didn't want to understand. It always has me wondering whether Ms. Bush was truly writing from her much younger childhood memories, or whether the experience of growing older had influenced what she was trying to say.
'Why pick on that song?' I can almost hear you ask.
Well, I love Kate Bush and I also love the story of Peter Pan. So it all had the effect of making me think more than usual while listening to it. And I am in search of Peter Pan: I want to write a story that will last forever; that will stay young forever - appeal forever.
Because of that, I feel you always have to get the writing right, to get each sentence right, as each impacts on the next. It impacts on the reader's mind. You say the slightest thing 'wrong', and somehow the reader's view, impression, perception, of the tale, has been misdirected. This has caused me to always attempt to get my point across clearly. I try to write clearly.
Maybe one day, when I'm much older, I hope to understand it all. I know that I never will. It's impossible. Nobody can. But I do know that I want to.

Changes

The world is full of many changes. Mostly, we do the changing. Sometimes, though, events cause change, and you have to adjust your life afterwards. So it has been with me. The past year has seen an awful lot happening, and I was just so tired standing still. That was the reality, as I was trying to move forward - in my head. Now that the dust has settled, I realise that I have so much to do, and that a lot of time has passed without my getting on with things. It's taken a lot to get to this point. Hopefully, I'm now beginning to see things a little more clearly, and my writing will not be hindered. And boy, was it hindered!
But fear ye not! I shall move on from this sombre beginning to my time in blogland. At this moment, the sun is shining in through the window, and the world is full of light. And I discover I've just burnt my breakfast. Some things never change!

*******Somewhere Over The Rainbow********

Naked, starving child
Reaches out to barren skies:
Another world is looking in.
Naked, starving child
Calls out to us from foreign skies.
"Aunty Em! Aunty Em!" she cries.
She is afraid,
While we are looking in.
Yet on the other side of the screen
There’s laughter;
A child is playing,
With peace inside, not hunger.
Emma turns,
And sees this all before her.
She points to show us;
Says simply, "Crying!"
A voice is heard while dying.
And so it is, for this child must die.
Like the scarecrow,
Someone else must know the reason
Why?
Slow, then, pans the camera across the empty sand.
So many people dying there
In a wasted Poppyland.
And I wonder, vaguely,
"Should I lend a hand?"
It is a waste,
And I am looking in.
So is held the picture
That casts upon me still a spell.
The wicked witch is dead,
Yet still there is this hell.
If you have a wish,
Let me be your wishing well.
Don’t be afraid
At my looking in.
For if we close our eyes,
And click our heels together,
Maybe we can change this world,
Make it disappear.
But then, this must be another world;
For we are only looking in.