I've just realised something!

In the early hours of this morning I realised something: that my head is full of thoughts. Nothing strange about that. Except, it is for me!
You know, in all my previous jobs I always seemed to carry the work around with me. Even when I wasn't physically carrying something with me - notes, disks - I was always mulling something over in my head.
These days, I might have the odd thought about work, but mostly I do not.
Hmmm. Writing should be easier, then.
Not quite... I think the world is beginning to creep into my head, to find more room inside my head.
I seem to be finding more space to think about the world, about life going on around me. And whereas I made an effort in the past to find time to write in my spare time after work, these days I seem to need to fight to get enough space to even think about writing, now that I have more spare time after work. (Come again, Pete?)
It feels rather odd. More time to think means less time to write. I gotta change that!

A biscuit before bedtime!

That's been me, lately. Chocolate ones. Some kind of comfort food as I ponder my next literary move. Yet my poetic leanings seem to be taking a back seat as I write a story that is as serious as it is fantasy-laden. Fantasy-laden? Who says so? I do, so it is! Just, it's got roots in real history - English history. So I can't wax lyrical simply because the mood takes me.
Last night, I wrote two pages of a flashback. It's part of a chapter and introduces the reader to another view of the past. Our past, as well as the story's. Roots! The idea had been there for a while, but it began to niggle at me more and more until I just had to write out the whole idea. That's how I planned to write this book: no writing until I was bursting at the seams for it to come out of me. So far, so good. Except I tend to be writing what I feel I should write, as opposed to writing in chronological order. Hence the choccy biccies. I need them to support my nervous system.
I'm off in two weeks' time, and during those two weeks I'll be writing more of the story movement than I've allowed myself. All of the research I've done was geared to writing a beginning, and anything I've found that was a few steps ahead was left, with a view to picking up these future threads later. There are things I haven't touched yet which will be integral parts of the story when the story comes to them.
One particular idea I had, which caused me to talk to a certain type of people across the internet, seems to have become redundant. Although they appear in the story, the idea seems to have lost its appeal. I will need to revisit the whole idea and see if there is still room for it. It still seems valid, but I must make it clear in my head how valid the reason is before carrying on with it. If I rediscover why I picked up on it, then all the better it will be. How I approach it is the key.
It's going to be a tough two weeks. Six biccies left. That's my mother's birth date. Hmmm. Five is my lucky number. I'll leave them in the packet for now, as both numbers are there. My double chin awaits...

My reviews

Just had a conversation today with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader. And, along with the two reviews from Dave Pimm (solvey) and Rebecca, I know I have enough in hand to allow myself to review the new first chapter.
I didn't send it to Rich this time, for the only reason that he has such a lot to conquer in his writing life (I do feel that he is close to a deal) that he really doesn't need my stuff clogging up his head. Nothing more than that, but it's a big 'more'.
Not sure if Craig (Rebecca's husband) can see any changes in his wife, but if she suddenly sits down with a pen and begins to write, he is in for a shock. Writers are mad! Hope he can cope lol
Apart from a few niggles, the chapter works. For me, and my three reviewers. Of course, that guarantees nothing. But at least I seem to be giving myself a chance that an agent's eyes will not be too unhappy to read my work. Happy enough to offer to read more may be a tough call, but I hope someone might get to the end of my submission, when it happens, and not stick it in the reply paid envelope after a few lines!
So, I write on: review this chapter, add the subsequent chapters to it and see where I go.
Things are moving now...

And on to chapter two!

Chapter one - the new one - is now more or less finished. I can add more, if need be, but I can't keep tweaking it any more than I have done. Solvey, Noel and Becca have got a copy of it. I'm sure they'll give it a shake. I'm hoping there won't be any changes, but you can never tell what a reader will think. I hope the ending makes them want to find out more. Does this chapter make the reader want to know more, to read more? Hmmm.
My next task now is to ensure that the already-written chapters read on from it; that they begin and end as seductively as I'd hoped.
Enough said. I have to deliver.

When to stop...

Yep! When do you stop writing the bit that you're doing?
I wouldn't know, for sure. I always leave a bit for later - something to work on, as it helps me concentrate more, and allows me to get into the groove that I was in while writing it.
Get into the groove
Boy, you've got to prove...

Yes, I've got a lot to prove!

Having just about completed chapter one (a few lines to look into and the general tone to consider), I'm now looking at the subsequent chapters and seeing how they line up all together. While eating Galaxy counters and watching Jo Brand - she's hilarious! By the end of this week, Chapter 1 will be done, and I'll be waiting for reader opinions and moving on with everything at the same time.

It's a funny old world, writing. Definitely a lonely one - self-imposed, of course, but it's something you have to do, not just want to do. I've often wondered what will happen if I don't get anywhere in the publishing world with my new story. Will I pack it all in? Will I just read? Become an alcoholic - lol, I'm halfway there already, I think!
Just rambling a bit! It's fun, sometimes...

Quiet down! It's just a fur-wound!

So, I've been off for a week, taking the opportunity to write. At least, I tried to write. Basically, I listened to music a lot, watched movies a lot, and read a lot. The amount of time physically putting pen to paper was not a lot!
Actually, I spent zero time putting pen to paper. I carried on typing everything to my laptop. It seems to be working out fine that way - but whether I continue doing stuff that way is another matter. We'll see.
I seem to have damaged my health a bit. Headaches, aching stomach, tiredness. Never felt this bad for a long time. Chocolate, trash food, alcohol and some dodgy carry-outs have well and truly taken their toll, along with late nights leading into early mornings. Inspiration and mood: fatal wishes, when you're not sure where you're meant to be going!
But the writing has been good. At least, I hope it has been good. The chapter is not huge, and the structure was already there. But it's been very difficult to work out what kind of writing was needed. I knew where I wanted to be, and where I wanted to go, but not quite certain of how I should get there. Style and substance can be uneasy bedfellows.
Then, one night, I got something down that made me feel I was in the right place. It's all subjective, of course, and I may have only succeeded in creating a blind alley for myself and the reader. You can't do that with the first chapter. It has to open out at its end, informing the reader that there is more to come, and the following chapters must move on from it.
I'm about half the way through revising and rewriting parts of this first chapter. Another week, maybe; not much more
Casting aside a prologue of any kind, I feel I have at least allowed the story to begin at a moment of high urgency and activity. But it can't carry on like that. You will get to know no-one in any story if you crash and bang your way along. You won't care about it, after a while, and neither will the reader.
See, I do listen. Sometimes...

Writing well

I wonder how many people have a well. Inside themselves. That they would dip into; and every time they did something - anything - out would come something new.
Or if they would dip into this well, what was found was really something that had always been there, but was just waiting to be released.
I dunno, but every time I write something, and then I decide to change it, it comes out slightly different to what I'd already done. Even if the change is only slight. The difference can be seen. By me, and by others. It's great to get a confirmation of what you feel is wrong, as I have recently, but I can't change anything until I've had time to think. Which is good - more haste, less speed and all that.
I suppose I could always change things to my own taste and leave it at that. Do what I want, forget the rest. But I need opinions, and so I'm getting them. They do strike a chord with me. Everything I've got back in the form of feedback has been more or less what was in my own head. Some good, some bad. There's more to come, and I won't be writing any more into the beginning until it's all received and I've had time to digest it.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm struggling a bit. Not writing as fluently as I can (like this blog post), and not fully extending my thoughts in case I put silly stuff down. You're meant to put silly stuff down, otherwise how do you go places no other people go? That's what makes you different.
Hmmm. Am I testing the water? Seeing what works and what doesn't? Too much? The new chapter isn't the finished article - it's quite rough, and skeletal. For me, that is. I think the idea is fine - no, it's good - but the preceding poem was really meant for a later chapter; an illustrative flashback. Why, then, did I place it at the front of the book? Laziness? Thinking too much? Why do I believe I need something at the front, before the first chapter?
Maybe I don't.
Both the prologue and the poem (which will be returned to its former chapter) don't seem to work. The prologue could work, if I put in some exciting movement, some visual thought-stirring action.
Still, it's all not the final piece. Work is needed still on the beginning. A spot of refining.
I'm happy that it's there. A concrete beginning on which the opening chapters are built. They depend on this chapter, as they come back around to it eventually. Just gotta be careful how I present it. The writing has to be better, that's for sure.
I need to listen to some music...

First chapter completed!

At last it's done! I've written a whole new first chapter. It's still a bit rough, as almost all of my chapters are (just getting my defence in first), but it does run from start to finish. But is it any good? Soon, I will know. Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and Solvey will be getting emails containing this new beginning. And Becca, too! Becca is one of my friends from work. At a mere 22, she is bordering on the insane - erm, I mean she would like to become a writer lol I've tried to persuade her to join Litopia, but only time will tell if Becca really does want to join the ranks of the self-harming insane. Not sure her husband Craig would cope too well with a pen-wielding Becca, either, but she would at least be staying in a lot more!!!!!!
I'd like more opinions, but I feel that Rich has to concentrate on his new work. He needs to focus, as there's a lot at stake for him right now.
Now I have to concern myself with a possible rewrite of the beginning of the fourth chapter (won't take long) and the movement into the rest of the story.
Onward!

Two-thirds in

Well, 2/3 into this chapter and I'm feeling pretty buoyant. What I'm seeing is what is going down on the page; descriptions at a minimum, movement and dialogue. A bit sparse in places, but I'll add to that when I'm happy it runs from start to finish. A slight problem has caused me to write from middle to end. I have to think about the opening lines and the place in which the opening begins, and where the ending of the beginning, erm, ends. It's almost there! For good or bad, there is a beginning - one that is not too long, and adds to the reader's knowledge... but there, I'm telling more than I should. One day... or maybe never lol
Oh, and another thing: somehow, I've crossed over the line from writing with a pen, and have written this new piece on my laptop. Whither now? Should I try to write it all that way? Hmmm. See how it goes. Now, the opening words... the rest of the story impatiently waits!

My favourite colour is blue...

... but I'll always be a red!
It's been a strange season in the football world. If the media were to be believed, Man Utd were finished, gone - financially and football-wise. I've looked at, and listened in horror to, the conclusions of all of the so-called experts. Everyone seemed to be ignoring the obvious: the injury crisis at Old Trafford was almost crippling. Not according to the media. Man U were simply not good enough any more. Their time was over. Ronaldo and Tevez were the heart of the team. They couldn't recover. Completely forgetting that they both did little last season, and were reduced to virtual spectators by a Barcelona team playing in a Spanish version of the Scottish Premiership.
I must be following a different game. Where did they get it from... the media, that is?
And Alan Hansen - he with the Liverpool badge - was at it again. Man Utd can't win the premiership: they've lost three games already. Following that line, nobody can win it now! He should be pensioned off. I mean, you can't win anything with kids, can you lol. And didn't he also berate David Ginola for daring to think France could win the world cup in '98? Major stuff, yet the BBC still uses him. His finishing is definitely not sensational. Mediocre, actually.
As I said, it's been a strange season, and Man U might not win anything. I just can't figure out, though, why their faults were so magnified by the media, and everyone else's positives were so praised. Because everyone else's negatives are now kicking in. How could Man Utd's positives have been so ignored?

Which way is up?

Rich has been told (and I mean told ) by an agent that he has to write with more fluency, more freedom, if he is to be published. And I'm sure he will do this. He will get that elusive deal. I'm sure he will do that, too.
So then - how about me? How do I measure up to that criteria? Subjective, in this post, but I've always felt that I write with fluency. Whatever I managed to do in the past, the polished effect seemed to be there. Except, I didn't polish. It came out as it ended up. However much I planned - and I didn't plan much in the early days - what you saw was what I wrote from the start. Very little editing; just moving the odd word or sentence here and there. Sometimes I would write whole drafts and there were barely any crossings-out or changes. A mistake? I don't know. I don't feel so. And you know, wherever I worked, too, I'd take reports and rehash them into a more readable form, increasing or decreasing the volume as I felt necessary, stating the obvious into a more exact form of information, and so on. People liked what I did. But the report writing's all gone now - I removed myself from Local Govt, and feel so much more free now to think my own way forward. It's been difficult, but the whole point was to try and give myself more mental freedom.
Self-praise? A legend in my own mind? Deluded? You could be right. Only, this new story... well, having planned and written lots of it since mainly mid-2007, I know I've really struggled with the beginning. The fluency has been hard to capture. In the past, I would have just carried on and then returned to the beginning. But this time, I had made my mind up that this beginning would be a beginning worth having, and that the rest would follow in a manner I could be proud of. And that I would write no further chapters until the beginning was completed. (Though I did manage to revise one ;-))
In the end, I don't mind saying that this has been the slowest-created chapter in the history of my life (Life? I've almost forgotten what life is!) I've never fallen over so much in anything I've written. Ever.
Last night, however, was a bit of a breakthrough. I actually wrote some good stuff! It wasn't very long, but it did interest me. And I felt that I was moving towards where I eventually wanted to be at the ending of the chapter, and in other parts of the story. I feel like I'm writing the beginning as Solvey and Noel the Ultimate Proofreader feel I should be writing it. In my own way, though - which is not how I was feeling over the past few months.
Perhaps there was a bit of jar in my head with the loss of the prologue. There was so much information inside it, with no 'tell' as far as I could see. Just it was a bland piece of writing. Too much ice; not enough fire. I can rewrite it, or at least put more into it one day. But I will not be revisiting the prologue until the story is finished.
The good thing is that the beginning has much more life to it and I don't think I'm too far off completing it. Then I'll be able to write the rest of the story in a much quicker and more fluid manner. That's how I feel right now. There's so much still to do, and I daren't consider a second or third book any more until I'm way down the line with this first one. I have ideas, but Noel has insisted I stop writing with an eye on the future and just write in the 'now'. For now. So I am.
Much more hopeful than I was yesterday - more than I've been for months. It's a result.

Tense

One of the people in this new story is introduced in a chapter all of her own. Except, I chose to write about her in the present tense. I was playing with tenses and quite liked what I had done with it. Actually, the original plan was to write the book in first person. Of course, one of the restrictions is that the main person in the story must be present - everything being viewed through his eyes. I couldn't marry that with how the story was meant to pan out. So, I switched to third person, past tense. I left the chapter for a while and didn't expand on it at all, not knowing if it was a true part of the story. Well, I've changed it. The chapter is now in third person past tense - like the rest of the story. And, you know what? It works!
The reason it works is probably because I had left it. Then, when I did look at it again, everything seemed fresh and quite new. There was no hangover, and, having written the other chapters in past tense, the new chapter looked rather odd in comparison. It had to be changed. A job done, and a chapter saved!
Moving on with it all now.