All the world is watching Harry Potter!

Except me... I haven't read any of JKR's books about the boy Harry, and another Harry Potter film is on tv tonight that must go unwatched. Ha! I will watch the X Factor and the Xtra Factor, instead. Great stuff! Nor have I read any of Philip Pullman's, nor even M G Harris (one chapter of Joshua and I took a deep breath and reluctantly closed the book). Shocking, I know - especially concerning Most Glamorous Harris' Joshua Files. I don't dare read them, as I can't allow any influences beyond those that excited my latest work. And I can't watch any of the films before I have read the books. What an austere world I'm creating for myself.
"Let there be light," he says, God-like, to himself.
But I'm gonna have loads of fun when I do sit down to read them, and enjoy the films after that. Can just imagine it: me with a load of books and dvds, a huge bottle or two of bacardi, lots of coke and ice to help it all go down nicely. And a barrel full of curry to keep me going! I'll probably peg out at the end of it all. Maybe I'll do a Samuel Beckett: 'Oh, what a morning'-zonk!
Somebody save me!
Someone?
Anyone?
Huh - no-one!
Hmm....