the last midnight

The Man Who Fell To Earth

2012-02-01T17:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I was supposed to have been off for a week in January. Work, of course, conspired to knock that idea on the head. I was going to begin the long run to finishing this new (!) story and see where it all led at the end of it. At the back of my mind, I can see 4 books: three relating to the immediate tale and the fourth showing the history before the first book – if such a book was requested. The ending of the first book has barely changed in my head since I first began to put things together. However, part of the passage has changed, mainly because the hero’s journey was being neglected (by me, who else? lol) and his love life, too – rather like me there, as well! Ah, I’ll snap out of it soon, I’m sure...

But, while waiting and thinking of what to do next, I discovered the DVD of Quantum Of Solace lying around, hidden under a pile of socks n stuff. I’d only watched it once, so decided to let rip, grabbing a couple of bottles of Carling and a bag of crisps to help me through. Help wasn’t needed, as I rediscovered how great this new Bond was. He beats Jason Bourne to the top of the nearest skyscraper, no problem, and can get back down to the bottom again after killing half the cast, and technicians with them, too. Great stuff! Come on fellas – where’s the next one??? Aha, it’s almost nigh!

Been loving the Dickens movie show, as well. Of course, the scriptwriters moved a few things around, dramatising things in different ways. I understand that. But sometimes I just wish they’d follow the book. I do wonder if the reason for change sometimes lies more in a particular director being unable to capture the essence of certain passages, so creates something else to compensate. I’m probably wrong. As an aside, I know trilogies are a natural control form of narrative, but surely the Lord Of The Rings deserved more than three films – and I still can’t believe Tom Bombadil was left out. His appearance was one of the most important events in the story. But then again, the third film won a boatload of Oscars, none of which were for acting, so perhaps the first movie was a taster for what was to come. I enjoyed the three films immensely, but still feel we missed out somewhere. Rant over lol

Oh, and I’ve discovered that you can watch music videos while writing into a word document by resting the cursor over a minimised item. You know, I always feel like I’m reprising Bowie’s alien invader, what with tapping away on my laptop, a video playing on-screen, Skysports on update and the tv showing a film of some sort, and replying to the odd text and email. Life mimicing art! ;-)

By the end of February, I’ll have more concrete evidence that I’ll finish writing this story this side of Christmas 2012. I’ve promised I will, so I will. The road does end once you’ve started it. The event of the year... for me, anyway lol

Women... the greatest mystery of the Universe...

2012-01-05T15:19:00.000-08:00

Professor Stephen Hawking's theory on women is very interesting, given his fame and standing, not only in the scientific world, but in the 'normal' world itself. One or two comments on the Net had me laughing: "Couldn't we put two women in a Hadron Collider?" and "God is a woman. No wonder Hawking can't understand the nature of God!" The arguments raged in the comments sections over the apparent sexist nature of Prof Hawking's pronouncements.
But it was one of Prof Hawking's other theories that caught my eye the most, as revealed in his interview. His biggest blunder concerned the theory of Black Holes: he originally believed that Black Holes destroyed all information when something entered, or was dragged, into them.
Now, here's something: Prof Hawking says he revised his thoughts during a theory correspondence discussion. I have no reason to doubt that. I do wonder, though, if I also had something to do with his change of mind. You see, I wrote a short story as part of my training as a writer. It was viewed on both the Critters website and Litopia website after I had sent it to Professor Hawking in the early 2000's for his approval. He wished me luck!
The words have changed a bit, knowing his revised thoughts on Black Holes, but the sentiment and idea I had was still the same when I sent it to him.
Here is the latter part of my short story, entitled A Brief History Of Tim, based on Prof Hawking's best-seller A Brief History Of Time:
Just so you know, Professor Tim Hawke had just entered a time Machine - and, for you Trekkies, it was called an Energiser...

Chapter X

Searing light. Fear. No time to move. As if he could. Time to die. In a box. Eyes shut. Flinching. Then - wow, the rush! Head - thoughts - spinning. Faster. Falling, falling in, into the light. Curling up, like a ball. Spinning. Spinning faster.

Moving now. Like the light. But quicker. Quicker? That's not possible. Whoa - out of the box. Free - free - no, more than that. Like light. Thoughts. Like light.

Millions of thoughts - no! No, not thoughts: whispers. Someone's whispering. They're all around me. Over there - I-I'm there, too! Holy shit! I think and I am there!

Mars - Jesus! Venus - Christ! Saturn - Hell's teeth! I don't believe this! And there's life. LIFE, do you hear me? LIFE! All of them - FULL of life! Own life. Not dust. Not volcanoes. Not just gas and rocks. Life! Can't you see it? They're alike, they're all alike. Own life. Own time. But different. Just different. Of course, you can't just wander along and expect to be a part of it, to belong. Speed, space-time - they change you, change everything.

Hey, no time now. Have to go. Someone's calling. But - but where? Where from? Wait a minute, what am I saying "someone's calling"? Who on earth-

"Not on earth, Tim Hawke," said a voice.

Tim at once slowed down. The voice - he thought he knew it, recognised it, somehow.

"Not on earth," repeated the voice. "But the Universe. Welcome to the Universe, Tim."

"Thank you," said Tim. "For a second there I was beginning to feel a little lost."

"You were not lost," said the voice. "Just disorientated. It takes a while to get used to your new state. We were watching over you."

"Ah," replied Tim. "You know, I had the feeling I was not alone. But - how did I get here exactly? I can remember where I was, on the planet Earth, and where I am now. It's just the bit in between I’m having difficulty remembering."

"That is understandable," answered the voice. "For the manner in which you came here would have scrambled the greatest of thoughts. Your contraption (the Energiser, as you termed it) created a black hole. This lasted for the duration of the power you allowed it. When the power ceased, the black hole reversed itself and threw up what it had drawn inside it - in another form, of course. A Big Bang in miniature, you might say."

"I remember now," said Tim. "The wood, the stone. They were altered, as though burned to a cinder. But the mouse - it disappeared without trace. What happened there?"

"Simple," said the voice. "Black holes, as violent as they appear, are not there to destroy. This is not a destructive universe. Nature creates. Yes, there is disaster, decay, death. But they do serve a purpose. Always from these comes something else. The beginning of anything can be found at any point. Black holes, Tim, are there to find this beginning. What enters naturally, intentionally, has to enter. It enters because it is done with. In its present form it has no future - its apparent uselessness, however, is far outweighed by its future usefulness. So life begins anew: from a black hole. But dead wood and stone do not have life. More important: they have no thought. Thought is the most powerful force in the universe. Thoughts do not enter into black holes and become something less. Only the physical can be broken down. Thought has no master. Thought is the true light of the world. We are the light of the world. For you, Tim, are now one of us."

"Light," thought Tim. "Of course. No wonder."

He did wonder, though. And Tim considered his journey across the Universe, across Space. The speed, the ease, with which he had travelled so far. No wonder? Great wonder. Great wonder, indeed!

"How, then, did I travel faster than light? I came here in next to no time."

"The speed of light," said the voice. "The speed of light as you knew it on Earth is such that you can measure it (to a point, I know, as the Uncertainty Principle dictates an element of probability, here). But this is not purely energy; lifeless, aimless energy. It has a purpose. Look how it spins from one star to another; from one planet to another. Linking all things. Why is Space so dark and Light so light? So that you can see it. So that you can follow it, walk upon it. Light is the highway of the World, and the stars are the streetlamps of the Universe. Thought is their Master, and thought travels swifter than any highway, any streetlamp."

Well, without putting too fine a point on it, Tim was struggling here. As brilliant as he was on earth, up here things were totally different: A horse of a different colour, as someone once so famously said, and in circumstances not too far removed from those here, either. Tim felt like the scarecrow without a brain, talking to the disembodied voice behind a curtain. But there was no curtain here.

"Here!" thought Tim. "The word's popping up every five seconds. What's here? I know how I got here. Though it was all a bit of an accident, really - a planned accident, maybe, but an accident all the same. The end result was totally beyond prediction - at least, it seemed that way from where I was standing. Of course, I had to try. Someone always has to take the jump, the final leap. How else was I supposed to have got here. I mean, how could anyone else get here? In fact, how did the voice get here?"

"In much the same way as you did," came the enigmatic reply.

Silence.

If you thought Tim was struggling before, then you can imagine the mother of all struggles he was having by now. His mind was wrapped in a blizzard of thoughts, half-believing, half-denying what he had just been told.

Then his head exploded.

WHAAAT!!!

SOMEBODY ELSE HAS CREATED AN ENERGISER?

SOMEBODY ELSE HAS CREATED AN ENERGISER !

MY ENERGISER!

WORSE: SOMEBODY ELSE HAS CREATED AN ENERGISER BEFORE ME!

All that he had thought, all that he had hoped, all that he had done, had come down to this: somebody had got there before him. Talk about being brought down to earth - if you could say that kind of thing about Tim any more.

Still silence.

Whatever had happened to Tim, whatever he had become, had not removed the human feelings (or at least 'human' as far as he could remember them) he was experiencing at that moment. Resentment. Anger - that someone had got there before him. The waste. The waste of time, of energy. Suspicion. Had he been shadowed, copied? Had he been manipulated? Could someone have directed his movements somehow? Nothing, nothing particularly came to mind. Nothing he could see, nothing he could tell. But it had happened. It had actually happened. And he had to accept it. Someone had got there before him. History had repeated itself, as it usually did. Oh yeah, Tim Hawke had made history all right. Only he wouldn't go down as the initiator. Tim Hawke was only a copycat. For good or bad, right or wrong, he had only done what someone else had done before him.

More silence.

A jolt. Like a kick in the groin. The obvious had escaped him.

How? How? he thought. Where in history? Who? Who had done this? There was no record of this happening. It's a lie! At best a joke - a bad joke. The voice was making fun of him. But why, for what reason?

Tim imagined the figure behind the voice leaning nonchalantly against a 'cosmic streetlamp', absent-mindedly checking his fingernails in some kind of mental abstraction whilst waiting for Tim to say something. But Tim would not speak. He was unwilling to speak until he had something intelligent to say, to reveal, to impress upon the voice that he, too, was intelligent, capable of intelligent thoughts, words, arguments.

Still Tim wondered who else may have created an energiser. All kinds of famous, celebrated people had disappeared over the centuries, and others not so famous, too. It could have been any one of them - even a few of them. But no contraptions had ever been left behind, discovered. He knew that. After all, no one had had better access to that kind of information than he.

And what about Rack? No, it couldn't have been Rack. Definitely not. But wait a minute, wait a minute: maybe not Rack. But maybe there was one other. Someone he knew who had been there before him. Ha! Now he got it; now he understood! In the same manner, the voice had said. Of course. Tim may not have been the first, but he had been the cause of it.

"You were the mouse!" he cried, almost shouting at the voice. "You were Einstein, Einstein the mouse!"

"You have much to learn," said the voice. "And calmer thoughts would serve you better, Tim. You are as close as you are far from the answer. Think on it: how else could you be here with me now? One cannot break human flesh down to the smallest particle and expect to survive, to come out breathing, to live in another time. For that was your belief, was it not? The movement of the glass plate, the sound of something falling, and all your imaginations run wild. The droid Scott could have told you, if you had asked him. Still, you have not failed. You have left behind a message, a legacy. Someone else will take up your baton and run with it for a while to a newer, further point. Your achievement is there for all to see, Tim. The black hole, the wormhole; both, at least, did exist in your time, by your hand. Although your treatment of Jonathan Rack could have been a little less severe, I think."

Tim was not at all startled to hear the voice speak of the Einstein experiment. He was actually replaying it to himself in vivid colour right before his eyes. Sure enough, there it was: a small charred object spat out of the black hole at the exact moment the laser beam was switched off. This time, the sound of it falling to the floor after brushing against the glass was a more realistic click: the click of an identity tag. Tim had forgotten about the tag. He'd left it on the mouse. He'd forgotten about Scotty, too. Hiding things from Rack had become an obsession with Tim. And Scotty's programming had reflected that obsession pretty well.

Ah, Rack, thought Tim. Poor Jonathan Rack. He was all alone. In a small, sparsely-furnished room. The room had a small window and the light was bright and shadeless. There was a toilet of sorts in the corner and the door looked heavy, with no handle on the inside - a jail-room door.

How was Rack to know that Tim had re-rigged the power source to the energiser. And that this re-rigging had involved connecting the Energiser to the self-same grid which powered the systems housing the computer database of the Inland Revenue Service. A surge of energy at around the time Tim Hawke disappeared from the face of the earth and generations of financial details, along with their security backups, disappeared likewise. This, of course, was not as bad as the hospital 'deaths' which had purportedly occurred during the Einstein experiment. Tim knew that Rack had leaked them to the press. Rack had 'protected' him, blaming a droid failure. But he'd held it over Tim's head like the proverbial Sword of Damocles. Now Tim had got his own back.

"But you stated that you had come to be here in much the same way as I had," Tim said, drawing his thoughts away from the flawed experiment. "What did you mean?"

"The answer to that," replied the voice. "Is simply thus: you entered the Energiser and you died. I, too, lived as you did upon Earth. Then I died. That is our link - death. Simple death, that is all. Only our thoughts live on. Until there are no people left to hear them."

Tim gasped: his vision of the whole universe was suddenly changing right before his very eyes. His whole perception, his whole Theory of Everything, was being blown away like so many frail cobwebs on a stiff, cosmic breeze; made ragged by the words of this invisible entity standing (or not) before him. But who was it? Who was this speaking to him? He had to know. He just had to know.

"Tell me," said Tim, his voice sharp, eager, impatient. "Tell me who you were. Who were you on Earth?"

"Well, Tim," said the voice. "I did not say that I was not Einstein the mouse, as you first guessed. For my name once was Einstein. But understand me now, Tim Hawke, when I tell you that not only was I Einstein the mouse, but I was also Einstein the man. And before him I was Mozart, too, and yet Beethoven after him. I was also Churchill, and before him Abraham Lincoln. I was Boadicea, and Joan of Arc. Once I was Millheim, inventor of the skatejet that carried you so effortlessly around the floors of the Zenith laboratories, and Llavand, developer of the very laser you used in the Energiser that brought you here. Ha! And once I was the dreaming Dorothy and her Aunty Em, and the little dog Toto who tried to get away - and yes, even the scarecrow who didn't have a brain.

I am the writer of every book, and the actor in every scene; the old man who sits at every street corner and the old woman who rests by every stream. I am every child who plays by day and flies upon imaginary clouds at night. Every thought that has ever been and every thought that ever will be; every dream that is ever dreamed, every wish that is ever whispered. I am all of these. And you, Tim Hawke. You. I was also you. For I am Thought. Thought. All thought. Thought is the true light of the World, Tim Hawke. In death are you now released. For you are thought now, Tim. Pure thought. Welcome to the Universe. The whole World now belongs to you."

To be, or not to be...

2011-10-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

... I must never try to evade the question.

:-)

Sometimes I overdo it

2011-10-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't say I've been writing a lot in this two weeks' break. I've been thinking a lot, though, which is more than enough to give me a headache at the best of times! But I haven't been feeling all that great - the first day off found me lying on the settee, watching tv. It was Fred Astaire, so it did perk me up a bit.
But throughout the week, while I was thinking, I was a bit listless and rather lacking in energy.
By and by, it took a lot of doing, but I began to put pen to paper - or finger to keyboard, as it was. Instead of actual writing, I began to record, step by step, the pathway to the end of this first book. Now, as I said, it took a lot of doing, as it is rather alien to me to write things out in that way. I've never done that, though when writing Sword I did write temporary notes to get me through a chapter, or to remind myself to amend a previous chapter. Here, I found myself writing dialogue, postures, movements, to the point where I had to bring myself out of things in order to get the story to pan out before me. The need for more clarity was uppermost in my mind. I had to get the story out of my head and in front of my eyes.
It was amazing how the storytelling took over whenever I allowed it. I know, now, that when I write each future chapter, the writing will come into it quite naturally again. Only, I'll get more of it right instead of tripping over things like a novice.
However, I'll have to be careful. On Wednesday and Thursday I did two nights in a row, writing until around 5 a.m. both times. I almost did myself in. Never felt so tired, and no amount of 'good' diet since and extra sleep has brought me round. I had a birthday party to attend on Saturday, but I've had to give it up. I just couldn't do it. I did a quick shop and came back home. I'm at work on Monday, so perhaps I'll be out on Sunday for a few hours. Hopefully, young Kyle will be there and I'll be able to buy him a drink. You're only 21 once. Jeez, once you're past that milestone, time flies like crazy. Don't I know it - I feel 101 right now.
Cue the music: Just a young man, by an old road, by an old road he chose...

4000 Holes In...

2011-10-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Have you you seen that new contraption invented in Japan? The yellow ball that you are supposed to climb into if another flood comes along? It comes with built-in holes and costs £2400 each!! Built-in holes!!??? So it's not just our guys who study how much milk it takes before cornflakes get soggy lol Still, it's true what they say: you can't take your money with you when you die - not if you spend it on stuff like that! I'd love one, though, to roll downhill to work... ;-)

The Bells

2011-10-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

I went off to Newcastle, first to visit Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and his lovely wife, Chris, for coffee; then to look for a new winter coat.
At Noel's, I was served soup and then strawberries n cream - and coffee, of course. Marvellous, though I could only stay an hour. Such great company and I'll be heading back there next week for a longer stay. I hope there'll be strawberries n cream again!
Off I went to look at coats. A simple task, one would think, with a million shops to choose from. Not so - jeez, they don't half sell a load of rubbish when it comes to coats. In the end, I gave up, deciding to just go and buy one in Shields when it became too cold not to have one. That'll be next week, probably lol
It was about then that I recognised the sound of church bells ringing from the Church of John The Baptist at the bottom end of Grainger Street. I couldn't resist and went through the gate and into the grounds. The sound of the bells was amazing and I rang Noel so he could hear what I was hearing. The churchyard is the scene of an important part of my new story. I felt like I was being heralded for being there. I began to record the sound of the bells. For about 15 minutes I held my phone to the clock tower while the chiming went on. I couldn't stay much longer, though, and I thought about keeping the recording going only as long as a fade-out into the traffic of noise as I walked away. Two steps out of the church gate and the bells immediately ceased. Ha! That was a spooky moment in the dark of the night. I felt I was being told, in no uncertain terms, that the peal of the bells was only for me! I mean, why did they chime as I approached the church, then stop abruptly the moment I left? To attract me? Persuade me to pay a visit? Then to inform me that they had chimed only for me as I was leaving? A shivery thought! A lovely one, too.
I noticed there were only three daisies left on the lawn as the dusk drew in. There are three people in the story associated with the churchyard...
I've got the recording on my new phone, which uses bluetooth to transfer files to computers. I have to investigate how to do that now. I'm sure it's simple enough, though I'm preparing myself for the usual idiotic error messages...
A day to remember x

To do, or not to do

2011-10-08T05:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Saturday and the first day of my two weeks off. Just as I was about to go out, I discovered that a Fred Astaire film was starting: The Gay Divorcee! I ask you, what a name. Of course, it meant something different then, so don't let it put you off! Fred's version of Night And Day is not that great, but it was the dancing with Ginger that I was looking forward to. It never disappoints, though I sometimes wonder what it would have been like with Eleanor Powell, instead. There's a dancer! Still, Ginge could cut it, so why ... but that's me, always wondering.
And so, from Monday, I will be writing like crazy for two weeks - or should that be: writing like a crazy man? Because that's how I feel. I've not been the the most clear-thinking of writers, lately. It's probably to do with my notes: some of them are unclear. Some of them don't go far enough, and some of them just aren't there! It'll be fun, though, which is how it should be.
The engine's running ;-)

It's not all bad

2011-09-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

The brilliant Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and I headed off to Lindisfarne, or Holy Island as it's also called. Noel's wife Chris couldn't come, which is just as well as we probably would have had to carry her up some of the dunes. I swear someone's changed the layout. Jeez, it was climb every mountain the closer we got to the beach. I fell, Noel fell; he fell again, I fell again. Even the Vikings would have given up their invasions the way things are now. We were shattered by the time we got to the shore, accompanied by the sound of seals 'laughing' at us from the water. Same to you lads - I bet our fish n chips in Berwick tasted a lot better than your raw fish a la Gollum lol
Still, it was windy enough to blow the cobwebs from my head and I began to feel a bit better about my latest work. And I also needed some space, and a chat with Noel, once I'd rediscovered that my writing heroes (Tolkien/Dickens/Koontz/Banks to name a few) did the same things I did. Or was I doing the same as them??? Well, they came before me, so I guess I must be just a copycat. ;-)
All in all, it was a great day. A step forward mentally, and the company and conversation was great. Positive...

Editing

2011-09-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

I'm breaking rules.
I'm breaking POV rules. Breaking 'interest' rules. I'm boring the ass out of everyone because I'm looking at the things from the wrong angle. Sometimes, that is, but that's all it takes. Sometimes is too many times.
You know, I've never sent or presented anyone loose work. I'm not a rough writer. Yet I'm so proud of this new story, I believe I can show any one of my readers an unedited chapter and it will stand up to scrutiny. Totally forgetting it has never worked for me, and never will. No matter how good I think it to be, this story won't be going anywhere in a hurry unless I edit it first. And by 'edit', I mean rewrite. I've always written stuff loose. But then, when I need someone to look at it properly, I give it the works.
The only chapter that has had the works is the first chapter. And it's the only one that works from start to finish. It took a blast from Solvey before I galvanised myself properly to write it the right way. After that, Solvey said it was 'focused'; Noel said it was 'self-contained'; Becca said it was 'uncluttered'. A result!
The rest must be done the same way.
Note to myself: without the need for prompting...

Curious tale of the exploding spud!

2011-09-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

Just me being careless; I stuck a couple of large spuds in the oven, totally forgetting to prick them to let the air out. The inevitable happened: one of them exploded when I opened the oven door!
Careless.
Which has also been the case with my writing, lately. Everything has been askew, not gelling, not exciting. As messy as my spuds on opening the oven door.
I haven't been concentrating, lately. I've been wondering why. Hmm, I'm only at my best when writing the real thing, and not the notes. I've come to understand, from the crits I've received from everybody (not least the amazing Solvey) that my notes and structure/plot writing carry little interest beyond the thought that this could be a good story. If only there weren't as many mistakes.
And that's the truth. Unless I'm writing as though my life depends on it, I'm not going to write anything that's gonna affect anyone else's life, either.
Half a thought produces half a story. Half-hearted. Half of nothing much produces nothing.
I'd better shape up, otherwise I'll lose big style... lose everything I've been working on...
To quote Elvis: A whole mess of blues!

Capturing the gloom

2011-09-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm probably gong to be in Newcastle for a short while tomorrow. And, while there, I'll visit the place that is the focal point of a good part of the story. The gravestone there is wearing now, a lot more than I feel it should. In the story, it is well looked after. But that is not the case right now. You can barely read the inscriptions on the top, though the side, naturally, is a lot better. One day, I hope, all will be revealed to the world. Until then, we're just dreamers...

Harper's Bizarre

2011-07-17T14:18:00.000-07:00

I was in the Dolly Peel the other day, having a drink or two with a couple of friends. Like me, Trevor the manager is a Man United fan, and soon the conversation got around to new signings, leavers and the new season. Posh and Becks' new arrival also entered the discussions: Harper Seven is the little girl's name. Of course, we went around the houses, trying to work out which way and what, but in the end Trevor summed it up best: "I suppose it's better than 'Quarter To Eight!' "
Brought the house down, I can tell you!

Suit hunting

2011-07-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'll be looking at new suits, soon, as a good friend of mine is getting married on the 30th. I guess I should have been married twice, but both times the relationship fizzled out. Still, it leaves me free to make the mistake once lol I'll have moved house and written a lot of stuff by then. Hopefully, this will be a more permanent move and one which allows me to write with more freedom in my head.
I like weddings. It means there's love in the air and happiness, too. Can't have enough of that!

The Big Push

2011-07-03T15:46:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't left work again! The urge to write is taking me over. I'm looking at stuff and seeing how it feels. Over the next two weeks, and into the two weeks off I've got coming up, I'll be exploring more of this new world I've created.
It's not the writing of it that bothers me, it's the storyline. I need to make sure the story is interesting enough and asks big questions of the hero and his friends. The reader has got to want to know more and to keep turning the page. Each chapter ending must entice the reader into the next chapter. I mustn't disappoint.
I like the title of the third book, and its BIG IDEA makes me believe there might even be a fourth. Hmmm, gotta stop getting ahead of myself. But at least all this means I'm full of ideas at this moment. A good feeling to have!

Mobile Homes

2011-07-03T15:28:00.001-07:00

Noel the Ultimate Proofreader has got a new mobile phone. He tested it out on me today. One day, a thought will throw up a screen and your intended convo partner will appear in front of you like magic. A hologram, perhaps.
mY aNDY wARTHOL mOMENT lOL

Litopian Dream and Echoes of The Past

2011-06-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

Just read Dave Pimm's (Solveig Anderson) latest post on his blog.
You know, when I first joined Litopia, I thought I knew a lot. I did know some things, but there were other things I didn't know about. Solvey says he's indebted to Peter Cox, and I can echo that. Things like going with your gut feeling (which I can say I did, but was never sure if I was right to) and planning - something which I never did, except for a flurry of notes before writing my next chapter. I don't do anything without planning now. My writing now is a positive testament to that, but getting published is another matter.
Let me just say, however, with a great deal of remorse and regret, that my exit from Litopia was rather spectacular, when I championed another member's complaint, which escalated into a rather unseemly argument with me refusing to back down over the level and number of critiques passing as reviews of members' work. The site is now doing what it should have been doing, I believe, but that's not even remotely down to me: more down to the law of supply and demand being allowed to work more naturally. When I think of past disagreements now, and there have been a few, I cringe! I've been part of a few workshops/forums, and not just online but non-internet places. I've helped a lot of people and they've helped me. I've written a full length story and lots of short stories as well as poems, so I have more than paid my dues with respect to 'becoming' a writer. My thoughts were, and are, valid. But I could feel Litopia was going downhill, and after all the hard work done in getting Litopia more active, I wasn't going to stand idle as the site slowly became passive again. Which it was. The success of the site came after I left. I was a lowly chargehand there, so I'm claiming nothing other than 'I told you so'. But I loved the place and still refer people to Litopia when they say they want to learn more about writing. I refer them to Critters, too, as both places have lots to offer.
But I'm not a stranger to arguments online - some things only happen after the air has been cleared - but I've always maintained that I'm brave, perhaps not reticent or politically expedient. The quote 'discretion is the better part of valour' will never apply to me, thank god! Solvey and Richard Howse remain friends from my days at Litopia, something which I class as the most important thing that has happened after my days there.
But here's a curiosity: solvey mentioned The Lord Of The Rings. I did a huge amount of research involving future readers of a similarly-written fantasy. The fantasy wot I wrote! The overwhelming conclusion I reached was that readers wanted a new Tolkien. No matter which way I looked at the answers people gave - the vast majority complained about the lack of Tolkienesque writing. They wanted more, and he was dead.
Now, I can be accused of being a Tolkien copycat. I actually was accused and I blasted back in no uncertain terms. But there was a reason for writing in the manner I chose: history.
Consider these: Ivanhoe, Great Expectations, The Lord Of The Rings. All written in a similar way, modified naturally by the times in which they were written. But, to me, all three could have been written by the same writer.
So what is wrong with writing like Tolkien? He wrote like Dickens, who wrote like Sir Walter Scott. A rhetorical question, as there is no answer that maybe makes sense. Millions of readers can't find the new Tolkien/Dickens/Scott, because he/she won't be published in the modern day. Unless the story fits the picture of this modern time. It comes back to my initial, and still only, reason that makes sense to me: the story that links the chain of these three greats must be a great one. A modern one. It hasn't happened yet. The story, that is. The story, the story, the story. With great people in it. I am trying to write it. Early indications from my wonderful readers are that I'm not far off - I think...
Now, what I'm rambling on about is this: what if The Lord Of The Rings is echoed in solvey's Margrave series. And Dickens' characters came alive there, and Ivanhoe rode through it. Could this be allowed? Tell you what, they wouldn't half sell!!!! (Erm, they already do Ed.)
Good cider, this Stella Artois...

Twitter

2011-05-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

There's a guy on twitter who says he likes Joe McElderry. The twitter is not me, nor is the photo! But it's my name!!! I'm not a twitter - just came across it whilst looking, vain-like, for what was against my name on the internet. Eeeh, and there's me thinking I was the one and only lol
Oh well, maybe it's a distant relative or summat.
Joe McElderry... sheesh!

The Viking Sagas

2011-05-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

BBC4 showed a documentary tonight on the Viking Sagas. How I'd love to have been let loose on them to rewrite this most peculiar of Legend series.
As a kid in junior school at St Bede's, I was noted for bringing in all kinds of comics - more notably Spiderman, The Fantastic Four and Superman. I also brought in comics such as Thor and his magical hammer. The stories about Thor weren't that great in the mags (or comic books, as MG says they should be called!), but everyone read them, all the same. I remember when our tutor, Mrs Gardner, fell ill and the Head, Mr Hallas, took over our class for the run-up to the 11-plus exam. Picking up my Thor comic, he asked everyone who had read it to put their hands up. Most of the boys did, but none of the girls. Then he asked all of the boys to draw a picture of their own idea of Thor. My pic was useless, as I can't draw to save my life, but one of my mates was a guy called Andrew Keedy, who is now a noted local artist, and his pic was brilliant. He managed to capture the feeling of life in the time of the Vikings, which was a slightly different feeling to that of the image of Thor.
At St Joseph's, I found a book on the Viking Saga, and another on Nordic legends, and was extremely disappointed. They were written by someone who didn't have any feeling for the stuff he/she was writing about. I've read others, and the writers again seemed not to care too much as to whether their intended audience would like what they were reading. Maybe, I wonder, this is the reason why they have failed to take off.
Writing a comic book about Thor, Loki, Asgar and Valhalla is easy with titles like those. Translating them into film is not that difficult a step. Try using other names from the Norse legends and, in most parts of the world, you will turn people off. Therein lies the main problem: attraction. As much as I have read them in the past, I'm not deeply moved to read them again. I'll just get annoyed!
But still, I'd love to rewrite them. Maybe, if I never get published - a probability - I might just do it for my own pleasure, as they are great legends just poorly represented. You never know!

You can't unstitch the past

2011-05-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

Nope, you can't... all you can do is not regret too much and try to do things better in the future. Don't kill yourself over your mistakes. Looking ahead is far better than looking over your shoulder - you're less likely to fall over again, for sure... and I've fallen over lots, I can tell you!

But I'm still around, still looking at blank pages and trying to fill them with something. Will it ever amount to anything? Can what you believe is art actually exist if no-one else sees it? The inner turmoil.

Crazy life...

A piece of magic

2011-05-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

In the end, I realised I had better map out what was going to happen in the next few chapters, otherwise I was going to get lost. I was glad I did this, as it cleared my head and allowed me to think about things a bit more. Of course, I haven't written a total plan, but the order of events thus far created looks a lot better than the small fog of confusion drifting about my thoughts.
Something must have clicked, though, during this bout of planning, for suddenly I had an idea. A little piece of magic crept in where there wasn't any to be seen. Ha! Amazing what you can achieve with a bit of thought. I'm not saying I would have thought of it later, given that it wasn't originally there, but I do wonder why I thought of it now. Perhaps some magic was needed, or was going to be needed, and I subconsciously picked up on it. Not sure where it will occur within the story, but it must and will! Yeehaa! I'm smiling as I head off to bed.
Two other pieces of magic to reflect on: the first, Manchester United's defeat of Chelsea inches them closer to the title and adds more confidence to everyone as they prepare for the Champions League Final; the second, the tv trailer for Game Of Thrones does give me some hope that my epic fantasy (rejected and set aside for a while) may one day be revisited. But that is a long way away. I don't read it, now; I prefer to keep it fresh and hidden away until I need to go back to it.
So, I'm rather upbeat right now. Not writing quickly, but writing what I hope is something good. At about half way my trusted readers will see what they've helped me with. Fun and the future!

A scene revisited

2011-04-26T14:59:00.001-07:00

I did say that I would be returning to the scene that was the ending of the first chapter. And I have - a new extra chapter has been created from it, placed further down the line, all typed up and ready for revision at some future point. Two chapters out of one and both of them necessary to the development of the story: can't be bad, can it? The story is now moving on and heading into deeper waters. Sink or swim lol
Briefly looking through what I've put together, it's apparent that almost all of the chapters have that unfinished feel about them. This is good, as I will want to make them feel finished after reviewing them. I did have a slight dilemma, in that there was a nagging thought that I should go and complete them before moving on. Sanity prevailed, as there are so many chapters still to do and write up that I would have been stalling progress at the very point I needed to be making progress. No contest!
There will come a point when it would seem madness to carry on without ensuring everything was as good as I could have made it. I do know, more or less, where that point is. But, at the moment, I have to keep writing into the future. Feeling good about what's there so far, though :-)

Time to move on, I think...

2011-04-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

I've found it a little bit difficult to write where I am. The flat I'm in, though in a nice area and looks nice, is not all it was cracked up to be. You can't sleep in the main bedroom when it's windy; parts of the wiring and other 'home' things could have been done better. Other stuff, as well. It feels more like a run down hotel room. Still, I have the power to move, so I probably will. Part of my policy of not settling for second best. Oh, and I've put a stop to immediate comments on this blog. I need to check them, first. I know I don't write very much of interest in this place, but someone put a rather non-complimentary, anonymous comment here concerning the Mayans and 2012, just because I happened to mention it in a blog post. I was even informed that the world would end in the year 3 thousand and something! Guess I'll just miss it by a few years. Me being me, I'd love to have discussed what was said. Then again: an anonymous comment? Something tells me that whoever it was wasn't being friendly...

Who'd be a writer?

2011-04-09T15:33:00.000-07:00

Or should that be 'Who'd try to be a writer?' Solvey's flagging up of yet another internet incident was a reminder of just how tough it can be when you present your thoughts to the writing world in the form of a story. Whatever the rights and wrongs, the whole thing could have been avoided by keeping reviews initially internal, away from the public eye. Both the writer and the reviewer, along with the website administrators, could determine the veracity of the argument. The all-important word integrity needs a look-up. It was self-published ffs. There had been no hammer beforehand by anyone other than the writer. The review that sparked the latest row was actually rather light in terms of assistance to the reader. It lacked substance, which, I believe, caused the negativity - true or false - to stand out. Nothing, though, could have prepared anyone for the writer's response! Don't get me wrong: I've had a blast back at reviewers and commentators in the past. It is everyone's right to defend yourself, especially if you are right. You cannot say 'don't defend yourself in public' if the review is made in public. However, you really must try to determine if you are right if you are going to argue back. Being poked with a pointed stick is no fun, and some people sharpen their sticks for no other reason than jealousy and their own inability to get anywhere, or to be recognised as good in their chosen field. "Look at me! I'm disease free!" is usually the real motive behind the stick. They are trying to impress someone, and may have their backing for any number of reasons. The reviewer is not always right, and if there is no reply, other people who are inexperienced, open to suggestion because of their lack of experience/knowledge, may believe the reviewer is right. What future will they have in the writing world if they follow perceived truths that are anything but the truth? And I'll repeat: it was self-published! Criticisms either way meant nothing. There was no pass or fail along the way. It just went up for sale by personal right. No agent; no traditional publisher. I'll leave the indies out, as the spiral hasn't been fully established yet. Enough said. I've got four trusted readers who I can rely on to give true reviews, as opposed to reviews with ulterior motives: Solvey, Noel, Rich and Becca. They are worth a million would-be fiction reviewers I've encountered. And they work with a view to agent/publisher submissions. Not self-publishing.

A weekend's a long time in football

2011-04-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

So it proved! My beloved Man Utd produced a second half performance, the like of which no other team could have produced - discounting Newcastle's 4-4 draw with Arsenal, which was great to see, but which was a rarity away from Man Utd. And everyone else's results were not good enough. Surely, we have begun the push towards greater glory at the end of the season! Two months are a long time in writing, too. Especially when I haven't written anything down on paper. I'm thinking about stuff, though, and an idea I've had, which, if it works, could open up things even further in terms of direction. I must guard against introducing new things without thinking of the consequences. But it seems to be a good thing this time, and could be used later in any future books - if I manage to create them. I won't write until I must, so I have to wait. Won't be long, as I can feel it. It's the way of my current method. It's worked so far, as it's kept me seeing and writing the same vision. Can't be bad, can it?

Phoenix from the flames

2011-03-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

That was a much better peformance from the guys in red! Arsenal played well enough, but they had no answer to the relentless movement the new formation created. The da Silva brothers were a revelation in their forward postions, and the return of Valencia gave me great hope for the future. Even Gibson showed more than he has been. Not sure what's going down with Berbatov. It may be that he doesn't fit in any more - his recent rise to prominence came when nobody else up front was doing it. Now that Hernandez and Rooney are showing signs of gelling, Nani and Valencia might find even more space to create stuff. I'd be surprised if Berbatov puts up with the substitute bench and I think he could be off to Europe next year. I hope he proves me wrong, though.
I think Marseille don't have anything to offer and our glorious Red Devils might sneak this Champions League. The Premiership is OURS!

Quo vadis?

2011-03-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm well into the story proper and contemplating the future, I've found myself again thinking about the kind of agent who might be interested in my tale. I've looked around and noted the names of agents who are looking for science-fantasy. One of the agents listed is the one that gave me my best-ever reply to an earlier work, but which also gave me my worst rejection, in terms of emotional impact.
"Your work is very well-written, and you have done well to send this to me."
My heart-rate increased.
"Unfortunately, my preference is for dark fantasy, and I would therefore find myself unable to represent you..."
My heart stopped. I'd hit the post... again.
With this new one, I feel like I'm writing a big one (well, that's always the plan with my stuff), with future tales attached. Hate to think I'll hit the post with it, though I have to be prepared for it.
On that note, I sincerely hope Man U don't hit the post against Arsenal like they did against Liverpool. I can take defeat in an important match, but not in the manner of that last one. Not recommended!
Saturday... a new day...

The Devil may care!

2011-03-08T01:56:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not getting all religious! As you can see by a couple of my friends' comments, it's easy to dismiss if you don't actually care. And why should they? Another question could be: why don't they? Personally, I think most people actually shy away from the truth (or a difficult question), preferring not to dwell and, instead, make light of things. They probably do care, just won't go there. Or have been there and won't go back there, for some reason.
Experiment over: I got the answers I expected. And one that I didn't expect, so I deleted it - well, it is my page!

As a writer, though, I have to go there.

But I've had to ask myself: who would be interested in a story that may ask more than the usual questions of life over death? How many would care? Obviously, some people wouldn't care, in any walk of life.

So I guess, then, you have to ask the right people. You have to attract the right audience, or appeal to the right people. The ones who care. So who are they?

And if I can unearth answers - at least, answers that may not be truths but are plausible answers in relation to the story, would they accept them as possible truths and ask questions back, or reject them as rubbish and move on in search of something else?
They'd have to have bought it first! Aha! The secret to a bestseller, perhaps.
Hmm, I need to ask more questions. Especially of myself. And at least discover who my audience is expected to be.
A rather disjointed post, probably reflecting the point I've reached within the tale.
Writing life...

Who created the Devil?

2011-03-05T14:20:00.001-08:00

Hmmm...

The Ides of July

2011-03-01T14:58:00.000-08:00

Best not say beware of them!
But I must be aware of them!
I'll be off for two weeks in the middle of July. I fancy taking off somewhere different and contemplating my fate.
lol
At this point, I'm determined to have at least half of the story done. Further, I'm also determined that a couple of new things won't have been introduced yet and so there will be something left to freshen things up and help to maintain interest. Of course, if I'm desperate for change at that point, then I'll probably be in trouble. It's not a sticking point for me, just I'd like to think my sleeve is large enough to hold something important that's going to be hidden up there.
My reminder to myself not to let up with anything, nor must I rush anything. Timing...

A far window

2011-02-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

Having written the eighth chapter in brief, and while preparing for its imminent expansion, I began to look at my notes and the future steps I must take as the story began to move upon its own propulsion. I say 'own', as it is the personality portraits I have created that have thus far carried the narrative to this point i.e. I've tried to write the story while matching the personality traits and past life histories that brought everyone there.
But that was dealing with the initial premise of the story, which, at some indeterminate point, I knew would fan out into a tale of conflicting destinies. Roughly translated, I had always known I'd better get these moments right, or the cab would jump from the rollercoaster track and I'd be lost in double-quick time.
In about two or three chapters, I feel I will have to stop writing in order to plan the steps toward the mid-point of the story. Although the mid-point is there in my notes, I get the feeling that there is a lack of knowledge and information dealing with the happenings around this time. Although I do know what happens, it seems pretty certain that I'd better plan with more thoroughness the movement to it, through it, and beyond it. Otherwise, I'll ruin everything and make a mess.
It won't take long; a fair amount of it is there already.
I did discuss this at length with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader, although 'discuss' is too light a word: Noel's ears are probably ringing after listening to my lengthy monologue concerning control and application. That I must write what I see, and not allow any deflections of any kind as to the direction of the story.
I did also reveal to Noel that , without overly thinking of it, I had stumbled upon the notion that two future books in this story can be seen right away. The ending of this first book contains the premise for the second book, though perhaps (not yet) its title; and the title for the third book has been discovered, though not the actual storyline - it's there, in my head, and the title inspires my thoughts, but I can't go there just yet.
I've also rediscovered the name for the hero's lover, which I've googled and also found, but her nature and presence I've not fully crystallised. I'm getting there with her. Just got to be careful that I represent her truthfully.
Lots of doors; lots of trapdoors.

This road...

2011-02-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

... seems to stretch on and on.
I did say that I'd like to spend more time with friends and family. Nothing ever seems to pan out the way you want, though. A social life and a writer's life are often contradictions in terms: you can't have one with the other. Some people can do both, and I hope they do. I'm one who can't; something has to give, and I have to write. I changed my life in 2006, leaving Local Govt for good. Life, and illness, and everything that came with it, stopped everything for quite a while. I know that now. Everything changes for a reason, and who I was is not who I am now. I can't afford to waste this opportunity. It won't come again.
I've got five days off from the 14th, during which time I'll be piecing together the movement into what I've always termed 'the river', or the main storyline. Up to now I've been introducing the hero and his friends, and an elusive enemy. Most of the scene has been set, hopefully without any static, and lots of intrigue - my 'take' on how this story should begin. Of course, my marvellous readers have virtually dictated the opening chapter's style. It was the only place in the whole story for it, and it works. So I can listen when I have to!
Noel the Ultimate Proofreader has made a very good point: that I've given myself a massive task. Noel's natural concern that I do it justice after I'd explained some things in the tale that nobody knows yet. It's a big ask, I know, and quite a few times I have wondered if I was up to it. Solvey's poem challenge indicated to me that I can pick up anything and make something of it. It was a relatively small thing, but big enough to mean quite a lot. The same attitude will be needed to complete this story. Every writer should be lke this, inside their head. Only time will tell if I'm actually like this for real.
I'm having fun, though, in that I am, at last, doing what I set out to do in 2006. Things have taken shape, and very much in the way I wanted them to. This story can only look one way, so I must ensure that it does. One day this child will grow into adulthood.
Not sure if I meant the story or me... :-)

Editing

2011-01-07T06:27:00.000-08:00

I've done quite a bit of editing, lately. I had to: there were too many rough lines and repetitions. I've enjoyed it, though. It made me go back over everything and evaluate previous chapters. I have a slight problem, in that I'm not 100% sure whether the current seventh chapter is actually the eighth. The one that may have to go before it hasn't been written yet, but there are some good notes waiting for me to read about it (told you I had planned a bit beforehand). I'll make a decision after that. It's good, though - I'm into the story and heading into more of the future happenings. There are subjects that I haven't touched on, but they will appear and I'm not too far off exploring them.
I haven't used any of the flashbacks yet, either. They are for later and must be placed at the most revealing points in the story.
I do feel a bit 'lighter' in my head about everything. I guess I had been getting bogged down with a million things. Actually, I feel like I've fallen through a hole in a wall and discovered an exciting world, only to realise I am still in the original one, just a different place.
Odd, but good!
So, if I'm now going to write a new chapter, and there are lots still to come, I'll need my pen...

My New Year's Resolution

2011-01-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

I made a half-decent bolognese tonight. I was tired and it was easy: out of a jar and out of a packet. There was enough to feed four, but I whittled it down to two after I had two platefuls. A triple chin awaits!
Got me thinking...
Work and writing have conspired to separate me from my friends and family. It's my fault, of course - I do have a choice. I have such wonderful friends and family, so I should see more of them. I do feel I haven't been the greatest of friends, nor the greatest relative. Wrestling with words takes it out of you, but that's no reason to neglect your life. It will pass you by before you know it. And I know it.
The rest of this week will see me completing those first seven chapters. I've written every day since Christmas Eve, and when I return to work on the 10th, I'll allow myself to get into more of a general routine.
So, to my New Year's resolution. Two, actually.
The first is, of course, to be the best writer that I can be. The second is to see more of my friends and family. There is no excuse for doing neither.

Unemptiness

2011-01-01T17:21:00.000-08:00

I said this.
Sheesh!

A momentous 2011, I hope!

2010-12-24T12:37:00.000-08:00

I do hope that 2011 will be a pivotal year.
At some point I will be submitting my new story to agents. I've no idea who I'll be sending it to, yet, but by mid-2011 at least, half the story will have been completed. Judging by my notes, I realise that there is so much work still to be done and, although the second half of the story has still to be realised, I do know the ending, so there will be a coming together guided by that eventuality. I've had ideas, too, as to what the future might hold for further books. Two firm ideas register with me in my head. They seem to be the way to go - the third book has a title, though the second, so far, does not.
But who knows what is going to happen... who knows if anything will. I'll be positive and say that I have to make it happen. A good plan, don't you think? :-)
This will be my last post before the New Year celebrations. May I take this opportunity to wish everyone who has visited this blog a very merry Christmas and a prosperous new year. All the best to you for the future xxx

Not a day at the races

2010-12-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday was going to be a day at the races. The weather put paid to that. However, a day up the Toon beckons instead, with some lovely people I work with. No doubt I'll finish face down in a curry somewhere later. Should be great fun!

Three weeks in a balloon

2010-12-16T05:16:00.000-08:00

It will feel like that for Rich if his plan to write for three weeks non-stop works out! He's writing a new one - no idea what it is about, but I expect it will be very good. I don't know if I'll get the chance to read it as a critique. Then again, Rich is past the stage where he needs to take much notice of the likes of me - I am working on my own stuff, so I can only give part of my brain at the moment. That wouldn't be good enough, I fear. The beginning is always the hardest. Once happily past that, the rest is more forthcoming, though not any easier, for all that.
Best of luck to Rich. I don't think he will need it. He's too good for that!

The Return of The Pen

2010-11-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

I knew I had to make a good start. Revising and editing these seven opening chapters will take time and I was procrastinating. Not too sure why - usually it's the inner pain of doing it. I'm usually so tired after it all - whatever 'all' means. But they are unfinished, though there is a lot of writing and information, movement, already there.
I settled myself down and, brandishing the trusty pen I had bought eons ago with which to write everything, after half an hour I found I had written a page and a half of a good beginning to the fourth chapter. It's unfinished, but it links well with what was already there. I also decided on how the rest of this chapter beginning should go, whilst being aware I'm on the edge of the beginning swinging into the tale itself.
I like my pen. It was a good choice and I'm going to keep using it.

Geordie Tolkien

2010-11-28T11:45:00.000-08:00

Glancing at the front page of the local Evening Chronicle, I noticed an article entitled Tolkien of the Toon. Toon is the Geordie nickname for Newcastle e.g. Am gaan up the Toon: I'm going to Newcastle.
Well, would you believe it - Tolkien had an Aunt Grace, who lived, and was buried, in Jesmond. The grave she shares with her husband William Mountain was discovered during a makeover of the cemetery.

Wow!
I mean, WOW!

Suddenly, all kinds of references inside The Lord Of The Rings have taken deeper meaning. Longshanks, The Black Gate, the mines of Moria.

Now we have the Northern-rooted legend of King Arthur and Avalon (Lindisfarne) and the Northern-influenced fantasy of The Lord Of The Rings. The two greatest legends of the western world and they can be traced back to the North East. Arthur in Glastonbury? Pah! No chance.

I'd love to rewrite the Arthurian Legend, and also the Norwegian Sagas, perhaps. Probably not happen, but the idea is there in my head. Always has been.

Jeez! Tolkien had roots up North!
All together now: 'And did those feet, in ancient times...'

Did I say five chapters?

2010-11-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

Make that seven.
All with varying degrees of unfinishedness (!), but they read how I intended them to. That is, I'm not disappearing off into different tangents. Whatever I saw, has come out in the writing. And I'm at the point where the story has begun to swing into itself.
Got to address the 'unfinished' aspect before I move on to the eighth chapter, but I do like what I am seeing.
Yeehah!
lol

First impressions

2010-11-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!
It seems I have a beginning.
Many, many thanks to Solvey, Rich, Noel the Ultimate Proofreader, and latterly to Becca. I needed to be pushed in order to push myself. I'm lucky to have readers with such high standards.
I was getting worried: things seemed to be a bit of a mess and I wasn't sure what was troubling me. But, having looked again, and made one or two adjustments, I realised I had five chapters that ran very well together from the start.
It was doing my head in, I can tell you. My self-belief was fading. Perhaps writing up the flashbacks was eroding my sense of direction. There was a mist, of sorts, hiding the future. But it's gone, now. I'm addressing the story, which I hadn't been doing.
In the background are more chapters still to be finished, flashbacks which belong within chapters and lots of notes from my research. I haven't used a flashback within these five chapters. They aren't meant to be there. They are ready and waiting for the moments in which they will be used.
There is still that prologue, which may be resurrected and rewritten, but that's for another day.
For the first time, though, I do feel quite buoyant about the writing of this story. Hopefully, I will do it justice, after all.
Five chapters that run together... very promising!

Printing

2010-11-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

I'm now at a point where I'm able to print out what looks like a beginning of substance to my book. I've waited a long while to get to this moment - far too long, but circumstances decided the length of time. The reason I'm printing this first part is that I'm trying to get a feel of what the written word might look like on paper, which is how I hope it might end up.
I have to be strong with myself, have to make a bold decision about the angle of approach and the manner in which I have written things so far. There are jars I can see already, but I have to consider everything so far and the overall effect of the tale, as well as the micro-effect of certain parts.
Jeez, there's so much still to do, parts I've barely covered - and they won't be until later in time. But it's all becoming a bit more exciting, taking shape, moving through one cycle and into another.
What a life! A lot more fun than my blog, though lol Trying to find something to say when, on the surface, nothing appears to be happening is, well, dire! Maybe one day I'll have something more exciting to say other than 'I'm slowly writing the next chapter'. One day, maybe...

Northern Children's Book Festival 2010

2010-11-04T07:22:00.000-07:00

A brochure popped through my door, promoting the above event. Great, I thought, I must go. Being the author of a children's tale (nope, never got further than the first in that area), the idea appealed to the child in me. I only stopped reading The Beano at 33 (Frodo's age - I'm sure he would have loved it!) so there is still a huge kid buried beneath the painfully-slowly-written-adult-mountain of a story I'm attempting to scale.
Then I skidded to a halt: what on earth would people think about an adult male attending alone a children's book festival? All my nephews and nieces are almost grown up. Sly looks, suspicious thoughts, stares??? And that's just me! I realised that I couldn't go. But still, at least I should be able to buy stuff online and find out how it went.
Anyways, authors such as Julia Donaldson (The Gruffalo), Karen McCombie (The Raspberry Rules), Justin Richards (Dr Who/The School of Night), Robert Crowther, The Two Steves (Return to the Lost World/I Hero), Chris Bradford (The Way of the Warrior/Young Samurai) and Steve Cole (Astrosaurs/Slime Squad) will all be there.
Should be fun, and though I'll not be there, I'll buy tickets in support of it all.
Now then, where's that Beano...

Who speaks?

2010-10-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

I have friends of differing nationalities, and sexualities. Being straight and white, there are thoughts and attitudes, manners of speech and behaviour that I don't naturally comprehend. So I began a search, to seek out people I don't know about in order that I can represent them properly in my new story. (Actually, it's not a new story any more in my mind, but obviously everyone else will hopefully think it is.)
Nearly finished this research. I'm still in the middle of it. I know, if I hadn't done it, some of the things said and done in my new book couldn't have happened.
If I get published (sigh!), the list of credits (websites etc) will be a revelation and a source of amusement. I've had some amazing conversations with some amazing and striking people. Some of them have disappeared without trace. I do wish I could have met some of them, but I have long known this could have been dangerous and downright silly.
But it's been a blast, and though this research hasn't finished, it has been rewarding. I couldn't have written this book in the way I've done it without the internet. I know it can seem real at times, but great illusions are like that.
Still running with it....

Slow down!

2010-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

From The Lord Of The Rings:

'Away now, Shadowfax! Run, greatheart, run as you have never run before! Now we are come to the lands where you were foaled, and every stone you know. Run now! Hope is in speed!'
Shadowfax tossed his head and cried aloud, as if a trumpet had summoned him to battle. Then he sprung forward. Fire flew from his feet; night rushed over him.
As he fell slowly into sleep, Pippin had a strange feeling: he and Gandalf were as still as stone, seated upon the statue of a running horse, while the world rolled away beneath his feet with a great noise of wind.

Majestic. It took Tolkien about 13 years to write LOTR, writing mostly at night. So why am I rushing to finish mine when I could miss writing fabulous prose such as that? I've taken my time and produced what I feel is good stuff. I have to look after this story and not rush things. It will be done when it is done, and I must judge that properly.
I guess I looked for this piece in LOTR as I had been listening to Susan Boyle's rendition of the Stones' Wild Horses. Mick Jagger said that The Beatles wrote better songs but that the Stones were better live. I am not so sure that is entirely true: to me, other people's versions of Stones' songs seem always to be better than the originals.
I've felt lost for a while. Maybe that's why I've been seeking out opinions. It is the right thing to do, of course. But not as often as I have with these flashbacks. I need to trust myself more. Hmmm. I think, also, that I just needed to be reminded that it is the treatment that is the key. The writing of it, the approach. If there is any greatness within what you've done, then this will bring it out. Allied to a good plot, you're halfway there.
Now for the other half. If I can just find it lol

Star Trek Weekend

2010-10-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

And I'm off... Oh boy!

October skies...

2010-10-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

I will be off work for nine days from the 16th of October. This falls in nicely with writing the beginning as a whole. Having written some good things, and fallen over a bit with others, I will be using this period to draw everything into a more recognisable passage. It looks like I've written about 8 chapters that link up well with each other.
Looking at my notes, I've surprised myself at the depth to which my early research went. And also surprised myself as to how far I still have to go with it all.
I feel I've taken too long to get this far. That's not to say I could have gone any quicker. Somehow, this story seems to need piecing together, as opposed to writing it out from one point to the next. It's been frustrating, not least that some of the scenes have been rather short on words and, therefore, size. I'm working on that. Maybe I need to be aware of my approach at any given point and to just keep reminding myself of the purpose of the current narrative in the context I'm writing it.
The flashbacks have gone well; there are still a couple more to do - but I know each can wait until a more essential moment. The flashback that is the key moment in the story has been written. It can be improved. But I don't need to do that just yet. Rather, I can use it to draw my thoughts together with regard to this story and decide whether I'm doing justice to the whole project - however many books this might entail (and I've no true idea whether it's 1 or 10, though I do have another book title which makes me think a bit harder that there may be at least 3!) Aah, trilogies! But lets not go there, for now...
I'm aware that I might fail. That I will probably fail. Statistically, the odds are not with me. But I'm writing the kind of story I know I would want to read. That one thought is what keeps me going.

Discovery

2010-10-04T18:06:00.001-07:00

I guess I've always been struggling with the idea that planning ends discovery. That, by its nature, planning ends the spark of originality.
The longest pieces so far came out of planning. The more recent, shorter, pieces came out of thought purely while writing, but mainly structure only - or plot, if you like. These were flashbacks, apart from the new first chapter.
I don't think planning hampers the spark of originality, or creativity. Planning seems to free the mind up, thus allowing more creativity.
I'm quite proud of the flashbacks, though - they have action as well as emotion. Both methods worked well for me.
Hmmm... emotion. I need to be careful not to try and gauge the amount. Rather, I must ensure that it is there.
I've now done the flashback that I have always felt would overshadow the others and now feel that I can look at the beginning, and the future it leads into, with less fear. I'm more able to decide what may be wrong, but more important: what is right.
Ultimately, the writer writes alone. There are trusted readers, who know what they like and give valuable feedback. But the decisions as to what, how and when belong to the writer. This is a given. Lately, I think I've been looking for some kind of approval for what I've done so far. That is me being silly: judgement can only be made when full passages are made available for evaluation, and I haven't done that for a while. This is, of course, because I needed to write a compelling first chapter and equally compelling flashbacks. Now that I've got more concrete work in front of me, the job of evaluation must initially belong to me.
I shouldn't release any more of it until all links and narratives are present. I'm now looking at this.
It still nags at me that the original prologue held a lot of important information. Yet I wrote it in such a flat, unentertaining manner that it couldn't remain in its present form. What I should do with it is still an unanswered question.
Things to ponder. I'm less in limbo these days, though, which is promising.

The Last Flashback

2010-09-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

Actually, it's the last one I'm going to do for now!
I've no idea how many flashbacks I will need, but this one, the most important one, has been done. It's not complete: it has its own sequel, which I've yet to write out in full. But I need to parcel up everything I've written out so far and take stock of where I've gone. Plus I'm tired. I need to sleep.
This particular flashback is a vital one, and is so full of movement and emotion, that I've given myself lockjaw with the nervous tension it took for me to write it. I can improve it, but I possibly need a bit more information than my thoughts allow. Is there enough emotion dwelling inside the words? Does the whole scene excite/incite emotion? Well, I'll send it off to Solvey, Noel, Rich and Rebecca and see how they feel about it. It's only three and a half pages long. It's a flashback, not a true chapter or passage of narrative within the actual story, so it is deliberately short. Not sure it can be a prologue - I think it needs to be attached to a similar event within the narrative.
Now I must return to the beginning and then look down the line. I need to see where I'm going.
Good...

Ey-up!

2010-09-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

Becca has taken her first peek from the outside at Litopia! Could it be that she is about to write something????
Her hubby Craig had better watch out: this is the beginning of the end for normal married life!
I've told her it's safe to join, as I'm not there any more ;-)
Coming to a book-world near you...

Cough it up!

2010-08-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

Yep, just when I have three days off and am about to write probably the most important piece of this story, I've caught a cold. I've got a splitting headache, I'm snuffling into tissues like a pig looking for truffles, and my throat is so sore and irritated I can barely breathe. Anyway, I've made a large pan of soup, filled with enough veg to feed a non-meat-eating 5,000, so at least I'm making some effort to restore myself to healthfulness. It's nice, but my throat is still sore I can barely breathe without coughing. In the end, I've resorted to pineapple with ice cream in a further effort to soothe my throat. The rest of the soup is in the fridge, waiting for tomorrow.
Jeez, and I hope I'm better tomorrow - this writing won't wait. And after I've written a couple more pieces, I will undertake a much needed review of where I am, and where I need to go.
Right now, though, I'm watching Casino Royale on tv. He's good, is Daniel Craig, which I didn't expect.

A test of nerve

2010-08-24T16:55:00.001-07:00

Yep, I seem to be unable to write in chronological order. I'm picking out things, far and near, where I feel I can do justice to the notes I made.
So, where does that leave me?
I guess it leaves me writing this story in the best way I can. I won't write what I can't, which has to be a good thing.
I feel like I'm writing milestones - pieces which link up the tale. Recognisable staging posts, if you like. And in between, I feel I can write what I like, in the way I like, as long as it eventually comes around and adheres to the plot I've been mapping out.
Of course, I can't just write it - if there are no lyrical movements, then will there be any satisfaction at the end of it all - for me and the reader? I would expect not.
Above all, I'm conscious of the fact that I seem to have shifted from writing with a pen, to typing into my laptop. I need to look at this. I believe I will go back to the pen for the time being, then type it in afterwards. This may be temporary, as I know I have written my newer stuff, such as the new first chapter, and the rooftop flashback, purely through my laptop.
Which is the way? I'll only know when I try it. I do know what I'm going to write next, so how I feel about the method of physically writing will be crucial, as this is probably the most emotional piece of this story I will write. It's a flashback. The longest and most dramatic flashback in the story - possibly only about five of them, and their placement must be exact. They each have movement, though - I'm not just writing 'tells'. The rooftop scene shows that I'm not. I have to get this right, otherwise I think the whole story may fail. I don't have to write it at this moment, but I'm going to. After it, there will be some more pieces to do, then decisions to be made as to what should go where.
A bit of a jigsaw, but most of what I'm doing is the opening, followed by the movement into the tale itself. The stuff I've yet to explore will probably feel like a release, as I'm restricting everything so far to the beginning and to the movement 'in'.
I hope some of the things I'm doing aren't going to be redundant, and so far they don't seem to be. Like the sword fantasy I did (wot I wrote lol), I'm writing what I've always longed to read, just I can't find it anywhere; only glimpses.
Still can't write on tap. I have to wait until I know I must write it, or burst, crack up or something! It's not a strange feeling, just something I will have to deal with, live with.
It's fun! I'm not as apprehensive as when I wrote the new first chapter, that's for sure. I had to be persuaded to write that - solvey and Noel can take credit for persuading me to write something so dramatic. Something had to happen at the beginning, and so it did.
Got to match it all the way through, now.

Design freak

2010-08-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

When I began the long and winding road of my latest story, I knew I was going to hit problems simply because I was changing styles. Being totally immersed in the sword fantasy style I'd cultivated (perhaps some may say 'copied'), little did I know how hard the transition to modern stylist would be.
However, I did know how I wanted to write, and that, at various stages, my style would have to change or jump ship for a while to suit the period or world I would find myself writing about. There are different perspectives, and cultures, present in this story. They have to be catered for, and research needs to be as thorough as humanly possible in order to reflect the attitudes and mindsets of the people who populate the tale.
Funny how I've written so many notes, yet forgotten most of them as I write first one chapter, then another piece, then another. Looking at them now, the number of times I've said "Don't forget" or "Remember" is probably a good indication of how complicated this story can be.
So I've opted for simplicity. I'm trying to keep the story tight when explanations are necessary. In periods of activity, especially intense activity, descriptions are kept to the minimum. Revisions or refinememnts must be made in context, and any literary tendencies - and I have them by the truck-load - are under strict orders not to reveal themselves until the plotting has been done and the story 'run' at that point has been completed.
In short, I have requested the ghosts of Dickens and Tolkien to please retire to the rest room until I have written the plot and conducted the narrative. Koontz and Banks are standing guard at the door, waving at me from a respectable distance so I can't consult them during this period of examination, though the presence of all four are constant reminders of how far I need to go. Respect!
And thus far, it's worked well, as I seem to be changing little of what has happened, even after critiques have unearthed problems I hadn't seen, and afterwards I'm able to polish what I've done while adding more literary or lyrical movements as I do so.
Having read Rich's latest blogpost ( http://www.wondering-mind.blogspot.com/ ) I could be forgiven for worrying that I was underselling my work. I know how well Rich can write, and so does a top agent, too. But Solvey's comment on the post actually soothed my mind a bit: my plotting was good but the wordsmithery was average. Solvey wasn't insulting my work - we are rather similar in approach, leaving little to chance via research, and appreciate the lyrical as much as anyone. He was actually polarising a moot point. (Solvey famously has the TM on the word 'moot', I must tell you!)
Fabulous! Have I finally managed to grasp the true art of storytelling? To stick to the story first, and leave the lyrical embellishments until afterwards. In this type of tale, at least. In the modern world, the modern writing world, you need a good plot. The story, the story, the story. Like the others that Solvey, Noel and Becca have seen, these were first drafts - almost wholly plot and dialogue. The narrative generally getting you from A to B to C to D. The rest to come afterwards. But it HAS to come, and will, otherwise I won't be classed as a writer.
Personalities, emotions, character traits, dialogue, history, exposition in whatever form, all have their vital roles.
But without the story, the plot, you are lost.

At this point...

2010-08-03T14:44:00.000-07:00

... I have got a fair idea of the beginning of the beginning. I'm now piecing the chapters and related works together and gauging how it all looks from this point. So far, it seems substantial, but so far, I've still a way to go in establishing the movement of the story during the time we spend with the hero. I feel I do know what needs to be done, though, and that my notes have surprised me and I can build from here to a future point.
I've sent two pieces to Solvey, Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and Rebecca. These are, I hope, proof of my ability to write and ensnare readers into the world I'm writing about. They are, as ever, unfinished and belong to larger chapters, but I'm trying to determine reactions. They are important parts to the story, so I need to know how I'm coming across.
Now I need to do more. I'm on it...

So I went for a walk...

2010-07-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Off I went again for one of my now-legendary strolls along the sea front. I was a bit early this time, though, and it was too light and a fair number of people were around. Not so peaceful, this time.
But still, it was quiet enough and I took the opportunity to give Noel a ring and enquire after his trip down to Essex with his lovely wife Chris.
We also got talking about my latest work, which was good as it allowed me, as always, to expound on life as we know it - or at least, as I feel it should be!
Returning home after a quick visit to the supermarket (Jaffa cakes for when I'm writing), I set about looking at how far I'd actully got with everything. I soon discovered I'd written a whole set of notes far in advance of how I viewed them to be. It stuck out like sore thumb, too, as to what I needed to do next: look at the story. Not the chapters I know I have to do, nor the flashbacks - of which I must only allow to be a few. But the story. What are the events that create the story? What is the focal point of the story?
I've written scenes, and I have important people in them. I've looked at history and created links. In the past two weeks I've looked, but at four in the morning called it a day too many times while failing to address the true question: what is the story-drive?
I must crystallize the 'why'!
I'm glad I haven't written very much lately. The probability is that I didn't write very much as I didn't know where I was supposed to be going at this point in time.
I have managed to write a small flashback, something important, linked to history - true history. It's great and just what I wanted to write, so I have kept that focus in me.
Now is the time to write the links, the story, the movement.
That will be me on Friday night.

I've just realised something!

2010-07-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

In the early hours of this morning I realised something: that my head is full of thoughts. Nothing strange about that. Except, it is for me!
You know, in all my previous jobs I always seemed to carry the work around with me. Even when I wasn't physically carrying something with me - notes, disks - I was always mulling something over in my head.
These days, I might have the odd thought about work, but mostly I do not.
Hmmm. Writing should be easier, then.
Not quite... I think the world is beginning to creep into my head, to find more room inside my head.
I seem to be finding more space to think about the world, about life going on around me. And whereas I made an effort in the past to find time to write in my spare time after work, these days I seem to need to fight to get enough space to even think about writing, now that I have more spare time after work. (Come again, Pete?)
It feels rather odd. More time to think means less time to write. I gotta change that!

A biscuit before bedtime!

2010-07-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

That's been me, lately. Chocolate ones. Some kind of comfort food as I ponder my next literary move. Yet my poetic leanings seem to be taking a back seat as I write a story that is as serious as it is fantasy-laden. Fantasy-laden? Who says so? I do, so it is! Just, it's got roots in real history - English history. So I can't wax lyrical simply because the mood takes me.
Last night, I wrote two pages of a flashback. It's part of a chapter and introduces the reader to another view of the past. Our past, as well as the story's. Roots! The idea had been there for a while, but it began to niggle at me more and more until I just had to write out the whole idea. That's how I planned to write this book: no writing until I was bursting at the seams for it to come out of me. So far, so good. Except I tend to be writing what I feel I should write, as opposed to writing in chronological order. Hence the choccy biccies. I need them to support my nervous system.
I'm off in two weeks' time, and during those two weeks I'll be writing more of the story movement than I've allowed myself. All of the research I've done was geared to writing a beginning, and anything I've found that was a few steps ahead was left, with a view to picking up these future threads later. There are things I haven't touched yet which will be integral parts of the story when the story comes to them.
One particular idea I had, which caused me to talk to a certain type of people across the internet, seems to have become redundant. Although they appear in the story, the idea seems to have lost its appeal. I will need to revisit the whole idea and see if there is still room for it. It still seems valid, but I must make it clear in my head how valid the reason is before carrying on with it. If I rediscover why I picked up on it, then all the better it will be. How I approach it is the key.
It's going to be a tough two weeks. Six biccies left. That's my mother's birth date. Hmmm. Five is my lucky number. I'll leave them in the packet for now, as both numbers are there. My double chin awaits...

My reviews

2010-05-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

Just had a conversation today with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader. And, along with the two reviews from Dave Pimm (solvey) and Rebecca, I know I have enough in hand to allow myself to review the new first chapter.
I didn't send it to Rich this time, for the only reason that he has such a lot to conquer in his writing life (I do feel that he is close to a deal) that he really doesn't need my stuff clogging up his head. Nothing more than that, but it's a big 'more'.
Not sure if Craig (Rebecca's husband) can see any changes in his wife, but if she suddenly sits down with a pen and begins to write, he is in for a shock. Writers are mad! Hope he can cope lol
Apart from a few niggles, the chapter works. For me, and my three reviewers. Of course, that guarantees nothing. But at least I seem to be giving myself a chance that an agent's eyes will not be too unhappy to read my work. Happy enough to offer to read more may be a tough call, but I hope someone might get to the end of my submission, when it happens, and not stick it in the reply paid envelope after a few lines!
So, I write on: review this chapter, add the subsequent chapters to it and see where I go.
Things are moving now...

And on to chapter two!

2010-05-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

Chapter one - the new one - is now more or less finished. I can add more, if need be, but I can't keep tweaking it any more than I have done. Solvey, Noel and Becca have got a copy of it. I'm sure they'll give it a shake. I'm hoping there won't be any changes, but you can never tell what a reader will think. I hope the ending makes them want to find out more. Does this chapter make the reader want to know more, to read more? Hmmm.
My next task now is to ensure that the already-written chapters read on from it; that they begin and end as seductively as I'd hoped.
Enough said. I have to deliver.

When to stop...

2010-05-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

Yep! When do you stop writing the bit that you're doing?
I wouldn't know, for sure. I always leave a bit for later - something to work on, as it helps me concentrate more, and allows me to get into the groove that I was in while writing it.
Get into the groove
Boy, you've got to prove...

Yes, I've got a lot to prove!

Having just about completed chapter one (a few lines to look into and the general tone to consider), I'm now looking at the subsequent chapters and seeing how they line up all together. While eating Galaxy counters and watching Jo Brand - she's hilarious! By the end of this week, Chapter 1 will be done, and I'll be waiting for reader opinions and moving on with everything at the same time.

It's a funny old world, writing. Definitely a lonely one - self-imposed, of course, but it's something you have to do, not just want to do. I've often wondered what will happen if I don't get anywhere in the publishing world with my new story. Will I pack it all in? Will I just read? Become an alcoholic - lol, I'm halfway there already, I think!
Just rambling a bit! It's fun, sometimes...

Quiet down! It's just a fur-wound!

2010-05-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

So, I've been off for a week, taking the opportunity to write. At least, I tried to write. Basically, I listened to music a lot, watched movies a lot, and read a lot. The amount of time physically putting pen to paper was not a lot!
Actually, I spent zero time putting pen to paper. I carried on typing everything to my laptop. It seems to be working out fine that way - but whether I continue doing stuff that way is another matter. We'll see.
I seem to have damaged my health a bit. Headaches, aching stomach, tiredness. Never felt this bad for a long time. Chocolate, trash food, alcohol and some dodgy carry-outs have well and truly taken their toll, along with late nights leading into early mornings. Inspiration and mood: fatal wishes, when you're not sure where you're meant to be going!
But the writing has been good. At least, I hope it has been good. The chapter is not huge, and the structure was already there. But it's been very difficult to work out what kind of writing was needed. I knew where I wanted to be, and where I wanted to go, but not quite certain of how I should get there. Style and substance can be uneasy bedfellows.
Then, one night, I got something down that made me feel I was in the right place. It's all subjective, of course, and I may have only succeeded in creating a blind alley for myself and the reader. You can't do that with the first chapter. It has to open out at its end, informing the reader that there is more to come, and the following chapters must move on from it.
I'm about half the way through revising and rewriting parts of this first chapter. Another week, maybe; not much more
Casting aside a prologue of any kind, I feel I have at least allowed the story to begin at a moment of high urgency and activity. But it can't carry on like that. You will get to know no-one in any story if you crash and bang your way along. You won't care about it, after a while, and neither will the reader.
See, I do listen. Sometimes...

Writing well

2010-03-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

I wonder how many people have a well. Inside themselves. That they would dip into; and every time they did something - anything - out would come something new.
Or if they would dip into this well, what was found was really something that had always been there, but was just waiting to be released.
I dunno, but every time I write something, and then I decide to change it, it comes out slightly different to what I'd already done. Even if the change is only slight. The difference can be seen. By me, and by others. It's great to get a confirmation of what you feel is wrong, as I have recently, but I can't change anything until I've had time to think. Which is good - more haste, less speed and all that.
I suppose I could always change things to my own taste and leave it at that. Do what I want, forget the rest. But I need opinions, and so I'm getting them. They do strike a chord with me. Everything I've got back in the form of feedback has been more or less what was in my own head. Some good, some bad. There's more to come, and I won't be writing any more into the beginning until it's all received and I've had time to digest it.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm struggling a bit. Not writing as fluently as I can (like this blog post), and not fully extending my thoughts in case I put silly stuff down. You're meant to put silly stuff down, otherwise how do you go places no other people go? That's what makes you different.
Hmmm. Am I testing the water? Seeing what works and what doesn't? Too much? The new chapter isn't the finished article - it's quite rough, and skeletal. For me, that is. I think the idea is fine - no, it's good - but the preceding poem was really meant for a later chapter; an illustrative flashback. Why, then, did I place it at the front of the book? Laziness? Thinking too much? Why do I believe I need something at the front, before the first chapter?
Maybe I don't.
Both the prologue and the poem (which will be returned to its former chapter) don't seem to work. The prologue could work, if I put in some exciting movement, some visual thought-stirring action.
Still, it's all not the final piece. Work is needed still on the beginning. A spot of refining.
I'm happy that it's there. A concrete beginning on which the opening chapters are built. They depend on this chapter, as they come back around to it eventually. Just gotta be careful how I present it. The writing has to be better, that's for sure.
I need to listen to some music...

First chapter completed!

2010-03-12T15:08:00.000-08:00

At last it's done! I've written a whole new first chapter. It's still a bit rough, as almost all of my chapters are (just getting my defence in first), but it does run from start to finish. But is it any good? Soon, I will know. Noel the Ultimate Proofreader and Solvey will be getting emails containing this new beginning. And Becca, too! Becca is one of my friends from work. At a mere 22, she is bordering on the insane - erm, I mean she would like to become a writer lol I've tried to persuade her to join Litopia, but only time will tell if Becca really does want to join the ranks of the self-harming insane. Not sure her husband Craig would cope too well with a pen-wielding Becca, either, but she would at least be staying in a lot more!!!!!!
I'd like more opinions, but I feel that Rich has to concentrate on his new work. He needs to focus, as there's a lot at stake for him right now.
Now I have to concern myself with a possible rewrite of the beginning of the fourth chapter (won't take long) and the movement into the rest of the story.
Onward!

Two-thirds in

2010-03-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

Well, 2/3 into this chapter and I'm feeling pretty buoyant. What I'm seeing is what is going down on the page; descriptions at a minimum, movement and dialogue. A bit sparse in places, but I'll add to that when I'm happy it runs from start to finish. A slight problem has caused me to write from middle to end. I have to think about the opening lines and the place in which the opening begins, and where the ending of the beginning, erm, ends. It's almost there! For good or bad, there is a beginning - one that is not too long, and adds to the reader's knowledge... but there, I'm telling more than I should. One day... or maybe never lol
Oh, and another thing: somehow, I've crossed over the line from writing with a pen, and have written this new piece on my laptop. Whither now? Should I try to write it all that way? Hmmm. See how it goes. Now, the opening words... the rest of the story impatiently waits!

My favourite colour is blue...

2010-02-27T16:52:00.001-08:00

... but I'll always be a red!
It's been a strange season in the football world. If the media were to be believed, Man Utd were finished, gone - financially and football-wise. I've looked at, and listened in horror to, the conclusions of all of the so-called experts. Everyone seemed to be ignoring the obvious: the injury crisis at Old Trafford was almost crippling. Not according to the media. Man U were simply not good enough any more. Their time was over. Ronaldo and Tevez were the heart of the team. They couldn't recover. Completely forgetting that they both did little last season, and were reduced to virtual spectators by a Barcelona team playing in a Spanish version of the Scottish Premiership.
I must be following a different game. Where did they get it from... the media, that is?
And Alan Hansen - he with the Liverpool badge - was at it again. Man Utd can't win the premiership: they've lost three games already. Following that line, nobody can win it now! He should be pensioned off. I mean, you can't win anything with kids, can you lol. And didn't he also berate David Ginola for daring to think France could win the world cup in '98? Major stuff, yet the BBC still uses him. His finishing is definitely not sensational. Mediocre, actually.
As I said, it's been a strange season, and Man U might not win anything. I just can't figure out, though, why their faults were so magnified by the media, and everyone else's positives were so praised. Because everyone else's negatives are now kicking in. How could Man Utd's positives have been so ignored?

Which way is up?

2010-02-15T16:13:00.000-08:00

Rich has been told (and I mean told ) by an agent that he has to write with more fluency, more freedom, if he is to be published. And I'm sure he will do this. He will get that elusive deal. I'm sure he will do that, too.
So then - how about me? How do I measure up to that criteria? Subjective, in this post, but I've always felt that I write with fluency. Whatever I managed to do in the past, the polished effect seemed to be there. Except, I didn't polish. It came out as it ended up. However much I planned - and I didn't plan much in the early days - what you saw was what I wrote from the start. Very little editing; just moving the odd word or sentence here and there. Sometimes I would write whole drafts and there were barely any crossings-out or changes. A mistake? I don't know. I don't feel so. And you know, wherever I worked, too, I'd take reports and rehash them into a more readable form, increasing or decreasing the volume as I felt necessary, stating the obvious into a more exact form of information, and so on. People liked what I did. But the report writing's all gone now - I removed myself from Local Govt, and feel so much more free now to think my own way forward. It's been difficult, but the whole point was to try and give myself more mental freedom.
Self-praise? A legend in my own mind? Deluded? You could be right. Only, this new story... well, having planned and written lots of it since mainly mid-2007, I know I've really struggled with the beginning. The fluency has been hard to capture. In the past, I would have just carried on and then returned to the beginning. But this time, I had made my mind up that this beginning would be a beginning worth having, and that the rest would follow in a manner I could be proud of. And that I would write no further chapters until the beginning was completed. (Though I did manage to revise one ;-))
In the end, I don't mind saying that this has been the slowest-created chapter in the history of my life (Life? I've almost forgotten what life is!) I've never fallen over so much in anything I've written. Ever.
Last night, however, was a bit of a breakthrough. I actually wrote some good stuff! It wasn't very long, but it did interest me. And I felt that I was moving towards where I eventually wanted to be at the ending of the chapter, and in other parts of the story. I feel like I'm writing the beginning as Solvey and Noel the Ultimate Proofreader feel I should be writing it. In my own way, though - which is not how I was feeling over the past few months.
Perhaps there was a bit of jar in my head with the loss of the prologue. There was so much information inside it, with no 'tell' as far as I could see. Just it was a bland piece of writing. Too much ice; not enough fire. I can rewrite it, or at least put more into it one day. But I will not be revisiting the prologue until the story is finished.
The good thing is that the beginning has much more life to it and I don't think I'm too far off completing it. Then I'll be able to write the rest of the story in a much quicker and more fluid manner. That's how I feel right now. There's so much still to do, and I daren't consider a second or third book any more until I'm way down the line with this first one. I have ideas, but Noel has insisted I stop writing with an eye on the future and just write in the 'now'. For now. So I am.
Much more hopeful than I was yesterday - more than I've been for months. It's a result.

Tense

2010-02-03T01:46:00.000-08:00

One of the people in this new story is introduced in a chapter all of her own. Except, I chose to write about her in the present tense. I was playing with tenses and quite liked what I had done with it. Actually, the original plan was to write the book in first person. Of course, one of the restrictions is that the main person in the story must be present - everything being viewed through his eyes. I couldn't marry that with how the story was meant to pan out. So, I switched to third person, past tense. I left the chapter for a while and didn't expand on it at all, not knowing if it was a true part of the story. Well, I've changed it. The chapter is now in third person past tense - like the rest of the story. And, you know what? It works!
The reason it works is probably because I had left it. Then, when I did look at it again, everything seemed fresh and quite new. There was no hangover, and, having written the other chapters in past tense, the new chapter looked rather odd in comparison. It had to be changed. A job done, and a chapter saved!
Moving on with it all now.

Fun In Acapulco

2010-01-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

Just watching Elvis in Fun In Acapulco. I must be one of the few who actually like Elvis films. What a film star he could've been, instead of the rather shallow leads he often played. But then again, they are infinitely more enjoyable than the dreadful caricature he became on stage in Las Vegas. A club singer in a white jumpsuit. What a role model for all the Elvis copycats around the world. Funny; but not fun.
Maybe I'm just too serious, or too critical. Whatever, I know what I like. A young Elvis was absolute brilliance - even though he dyed his hair black to hide his natural red hair. I'm amazed at the number of people who don't know that - especially the ones who should know.
Then again, I should know: my younger brother used to dress like him, and had his hair cut and styled the same way, too. He even had 'Elvis' stapled to his belt - all this in a school where we had to wear uniform every day!
Back to the movie...

Compare The Meerkat.com...

2010-01-13T07:27:00.000-08:00

lol I love the meerkat adverts. A bit miffed that the Green Witch adverts didn't last a bit longer (boring script problems, guys?), but at least we've got the meerkats to enjoy.
We are doomed! lol

Funny you should say that...

2009-12-29T15:30:00.001-08:00

Chatting at work with Becca, something she said jogged my memory, and suddenly I was remembering half-forgotten people. These were internet-based memories about people I had never met, but had spoken to many times. A lot of names had gone from my mind, but they had all influenced my thinking while coming up with some kind of plot for my newest story. Becca probably thought I sounded very strange. Wouldn't blame her, as I think I am, too. Once home, I dived onto my laptop and searched for a few things. Lo and behold, someone said a name on TV, and then Sting sang a song called Soul Cake, both of which references are part of this tale!
A sign, perhaps. Well, I'm having a lot more artistic thoughts these days than I have been. Maybe I'm picking up on things - things I should have been more aware of. But then again, maybe I was aware of them, but it was a subconscious thing.
Agh! Stop analysing. Just write!

Miracle on 34th Street

2009-12-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite films; this one and the original. It must be wonderful to be able to dream of something, and then for it to happen. Wishes are not just for Christmas, but it's a marvellous time to wish for something. I think a few of us could do with a wish or two coming true, and I hope for you that they all do.
And so, as I now retire to watch the rest of this lovely film, to everyone who has ever stopped by, and to everyone who regularly does (not that there's much to read here, these days), I hope you have a great Christmas and a very happy New Year. And I hope that whatever wishes enter your life turn out to be the kind of wishes that do come true x
All the very best
Es

Falling leaves...

2009-10-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

I keep seeing them. How they relate to what I'm about to write is up to me, I guess, but they seem relevant. They seem to represent death. But it's what they become, not what they are, that is the key.
I've settled on a certain new first chapter. One that carries links with the past in the tale, but which also foretells danger for those who are left to carry on. I'm not entirely sure that this is the right way to go, or even that it is necessary, given that I like the original first chapter (now the second chapter). But the scene I'm writing seems to have no place later in the story, and the very beginning is as natural a point for it to exist as I can find - meaning that I was going to write it (it's in my notes) but hadn't found a place for it up until now.
It's possible that, after writing it, this may still not be a first chapter. But it will have been written and I can make a decision afterwards. I guess, after having the original first chapter there, in front of me, for ages makes it difficult to view another one in its place.
Still, on with it. See where it goes!

Where's foxy?

2009-09-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well, the council have been out in force, cutting stuff everywhere - at least it looked like the council. To the point where, to my horror, the copse looks rather ragged and threadbare. Anyway, foxy has gone, or seems to have gone. I've left food there, and it disappears, but that could be anything. Just there's no sign of the little mite. Hmmm. I hope he's all right.
Mind you, it doesn't have to be the hand of man that upsets anything. It's quite nice looking at the woods and the wildlife, listening to the noises and stuff, but I came across some kind of hawk tearing a wood pigeon to pieces. What a shock! I was both fascinated and horrified at the same time. Nothing I could do, of course. Darwin had a point, and who was I to even attempt to interfere. Nature's cruel, but that's life in the wild. Strewth!
Still, I'll keep putting food out for a while and see what happens.
On the writing front, I've written nothing. Talked about it, thought about it, going through things, but not written anything. Just there's not much urgency in my head to do it right now. I don't know why. I will be looking at it tonight. Atmosphere; opening words. What am I missing? I need to study things. Let's see how it goes...

Clean-up

2009-09-08T04:49:00.000-07:00

Had a bit of a tidy of my blog. Youtube's messing with videos and references has caused one or two vids having to be removed. Some vids have just gone missing completely. Pehaps they'll come back. I might've buggered off by then lol

Oh, to be a vegetarian...

2009-09-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

You know, I did wonder why I gave young foxy a pork pie, when I've always liked pork pies. And today, with some odd reluctance, I cooked up a chicken dinner. This reluctance was confirmed by my lack of enjoyment while eating it. Not like me, I can tell you. Seems like I'm going off meat, for some reason.
I've got stuff for sandwiches, soup in the freezer with meat in it, leftover chicken, bacon n stuff.
None of it appeals. I'd rather just have something plain, like wheatgerm bread and butter. And fruit juice rather than fizzy drinks. Hot chocolate as opposed to coffee - well, some of the time!
A symptom of getting older, perhaps?
Absolutely no idea what's going on internally, but I feel like I'm changing. Maybe it's moving to this new place. Perhaps I've discovered a new outlook, with it.
Soon it will be 2010.
Tried to find a play on words with Space Odyssey and food, but I couldn't.
I need a beer!

Help! again...

2009-09-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

Yep, the Fabs are on tv tonight - 10.45 pm on BBC2. Great fun! I'll watch it tonight. They don't make 'em like this any more.
On the subject of help (tenuous, I know), I've had another conversation with Noel the Ultimate Proofreader. Noel has revealed that he likes the poem at the beginning and the name of the young girl, and that one of his favourite bits is the last line of the third chapter, which refers to a cat. He also enjoys the atmosphere, which I build from the beginning of the current first chapter, and the fact that I have enough in the form of people in the story to create interaction and events that mean something. Noel hopes that the cat will play a larger part as the story goes on. No worries on that score, I assured him!
Solvey believes that the story has great potential, but, like Noel, feels the beginning needs some kind of punch or memorablity to be more effective as a beginning.
I'm writing an opening that, I hope, reveals danger to the audience and also gives more information to the audience than the hero is allowed. It's not a reversal, but it is death by murder - a strong event that will only work if I write it well enough.
The original and now-removed prologue is a rather flat flashback that is probably unnecessary - perhaps the other flashbacks will be emphasised because of this removal. I don't want many of them, for sure, so we will have to see there.

Into the void

2009-08-31T15:43:00.000-07:00

At last, I've begun to write the chapter that may be the first chapter. Lol, how many first chapters did I write in my previous magnum opus? Not nearly enough, I suspect. It's a tentative step, though only the successful writing of it will convince me that it's the correct one. This new chapter must illustrate the danger the hero and his friends are in. Otherwise it will fail and I will revert to the beginning I have.
The beginning I have, with the prologue now removed, is a good one. The chapter I'm now creating must be at least as good.
I remember a conversation way back at Litopia, where Oscuridad (Dave Bartram in their podcasts) said that he had written a story that was full of intrigue and politics, yet it seemed that the more successful stories he was looking at, at the time, were more likely to contain murder, or attempted murder. Something along those lines.
It's a fact that if the reader is not placed in mortal danger through the people in the story, then if the genre in which the tale is set requires such a scenario, your story is in mortal danger, too - of failing.
I will be attempting to illustrate this in the new chapter. Failure will only be temporary, as I really will need to move on to the rest of the tale. Future writings may reveal a truer opening chapter. But let's see how I get on.
p.s.
Little foxy got a pork pie out of me, yesterday. At one with nature...

Prologue-less

2009-08-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

And there it wasn't!
I've removed the prologue as a part of the story itself. I will keep it for reference, but for now we have the poem and then the opening lines of the first chapter.
Obviously, I need to consider whether the opening chapter should be the opening chapter. Should there be another chapter before that?
Of course, I can't say for definite right now. It's difficult looking at the beginning without the prologue being there. I have what seems to be the perfect type of opening in my head, but I must remember that my first chapter 'as-is' seems like a good one to me. Why change things further?
Watching The Da Vinci Code last night shows what a beginning can be. Does it need to be like that? The one I have in mind is like that. But will it now look like everybody else's first chapter?
Well, the prologue is no more. Small steps for now.
Food for thought...

What now?

2009-08-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

So, I now have three chapters that actually run together at the beginning of the book. I hope I've illustrated the hero as a good guy and someone worth following. The problem is, it is more than likely that I haven't written an opening capable of attracting an agent, or even whoever reads it first at an agent's office.
I like the poem. There are more later in the book to illustrate certain abilities and happenings.
I like the prologue, which may never see the light of day. Unless, as solvey has rightly suggested, I add more to it. However, adding more to it might make it too long. The prologue was necessary in order to form an idea in my head. Now it's there in my head, perhaps the prologue is a detractor, or a distraction. I don't know, really I don't. In any event, the prologue will never be sent to an agent. But it will be there as added information if it is ever needed. Everything I've done may be taken down as evidence! Evidence I can write? Or not...
There is a strong probability that I'll write an opening very soon, and take out the prologue. I think Solvey and Noel would expect that. Forward momentum, as both have impressed upon me.
Right! Roll 'em!

2-0

2009-08-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

Just about unanimous. Both Solvey and Noel say the same thing: the first chapter has to be dynamic and it has to grab the reader immediately. The 'reader' being the agent in the first instance, and then the editor.
In short, although I have no problem writing lucid and entertaining prose with a dash of style ;-), I probably would grab no agent or editor with the first chapter I created.

I don't think I can write a new first chapter right now. I need to consider more of what my story is about. I do believe I have the chapter at hand, but I won't write it until I'm sure. As the chapter I have in mind doesn't involve the hero of the story, then it may not be the right way to start.

However, nothing I've written will be discarded, as I may have to put them back, or use them anyway as they need to be there.

The Lord Of The Rings had no great and wondrous start. Neither did The Hobbit. Neither does Use Of Weapons, nor Seize The Night. Nor does Great Expectations. All my own personal points of reference. However, they may not hold the key to my latest work with regard to the opening chapter. I need to think, and to do!

However, I must also be careful not to write a beginning that causes changes to the text already conceived and written. I like what I've done, so any beginning has to fit the story as I see it. If I really can't write a beginning that has a humdinger of start then I mustn't worry. First and foremost, everything must be well-written and carry style. Then there must be a story worthy of the name and memorable people to populate it.

The beginning will reveal itself, I'm sure, just it doesn't need to be written until I'm ready to write it. That's the nub of it, really. Solvey and Noel are absolutely right. But I'll probably not know how it should start until after I get further in. I may never know and someone else may suggest it. It's fun, though - no need to get depressed about it. There's a long way to go, so I mustn't rush and then ruin everything.
Thanks guys, I really do appreciate your help.
Keep you posted...

At last!

2009-08-10T07:38:00.001-07:00

The beginning has been finished! At least, the beginning as I see it. I've sent it off to Noel, Dave and Rich. Hopefully, these three masters will let me know what they think.
Ah well, on with the rest of the show...

It's gonna be a long season...

2009-08-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be bothered that we didn't win the Community Shield, but to give up a lead so easily against Chelsea? I don't know why De Laet didn't play; nor why Valencia was on the subs bench. Those two decisions probably cost us. Rooney was marginalised for almost the whole game, too, until the goal he scored right at the end.
And why was Nani presented as free-kicker-in-chief? His goal was good, but the rest of it promised more than he could deliver. Shame about his injury, as he deserves a chance, but he wasn't building on the goal.
Yep, a long season all right!

Back On The Road

2009-08-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

A hard road, actually. Solvey has asked some serious questions of my stuff and he hasn't seen the new beginning yet! What's he gonna be like when he finds my offering in his email inbox???
The opinions of Solvey, Rich and Noel count for such a lot. If I can get this past them then I will know I'm on the right track. Not long now, actually, as it's a matter of typing up and then smoothing out a few kinks. A few days at most. Mind you, I've quite a few months of work ahead of me. This really is the beginning.
Meanwhile, check out the interviews on Maria Harris' blog. Great stuff and shows how far she has come and gives a fair indication of how far she will go. I'm rather envious, but in a good way: it's great to see success happening and growing. Proof that it does happen.

A brief pause

2009-08-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to stop - not because you want to - but because it's necessary. I've written a new beginning to Chapter 2 and I know I'd better call a halt and think a bit.
I like what I'm doing, but I don't want to move in a different direction to the pictures I have in my head. I need to check. I've moved a scene from second place to the forefront of the chapter. Dialogue and information are contained in this chapter, as well as movement and scene-setting. I know that the story moves into itself from Chapter 4 and the only explanations after that should come from the flashbacks - sparely used and strategically placed shows. Boy, do I have to be careful with these. I need to make sure I am going in the direction I want to, and not get dragged into places that really surprise no-one and will impress no-one. It's gonna take a while, as I seem able to write this story only when I have to, as opposed to chipping away at it or sparing time to write.
Can I do it all? We'll see.
Anyhow, the revised beginning will be completed in the next few days. Solvey, Rich and Noel the Ultimate Proofreader will get their copies and I will know from the reactions from these three masters if I'm on the right track.
Very soon, coming to an email inbox near you...

Back to nature

2009-07-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

So, I'm writing now. The final part of the beginning, and revision of the beginning. One problem I have is that the settings are, in the main, real places, and one of them closes at night so I can't go in when it's dark. I can look inside at night, but there's no substitute for actually being inside the place. Still, I've been there during the day, so I just gotta use my imagination.

Having been off work for a week, I realise I haven't been watching my diet, with the inevitable result that I don't feel too good. I've got a load of stuff in that should ensure the disappearance of any yukky feelings. I have to stick to what I've got. Chips are out lol

Anyway, after my latest bout of food shopping, I stopped off at a small copse not far from my new place. There lives a little fox. The poor fella seems to be starving and his coat is rather raggy and mottled. In the absence of any knowledge of foxy food, I'd got him some scotch eggs (don't ask!) Now, a good friend of mine, David Hartmann, once told me that if you gave a fox some eggs the fox would immediately start sniffing around, looking for the chickens! Ha, after biting into the scotch eggs, that was exactly what the fox did! Then he wolfed (!) the lot down. Good!
Feeling better...

Chariots Of Fire

2009-06-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

I went out for a couple of drinks this lunchtime. On my return, I was presented with a meal of mince and dumplings by my new next door neighbour and her husband. Could get used to this!
I'm now watching Chariots Of Fire, which features the most lovely and fragile music composed by Vangelis. Inspirational stuff, and I don't want to miss it.
Later tonight, I'm off to the Riverside pub to watch a good friend, Brian Houshby, doing a 'turn'. He's hilarious and highly entertaining. So much for spending time writing, but I feel I need this break tonight. I'm off on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, during which time I should have finished the beginning of the story.
Then the critiques from Noel, Solvey and Rich should confirm my abilities, good or bad!
Roll on 20th July, when I'll be off for two weeks. Thinking of going to Ireland then...

School's out!

2009-06-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Browsing blogs as I do now and again, and finding less than ever that I felt I could comment on with any authority, I came across a post on Peter Cox's blog (Maria Harris's agent) concerning the lack of interest-worthy school subjects. A friend of mine has just had a baby girl (congrats Kay!) and I remembered a conversation I'd had with someone else. I just happen to feel that most people leave school totally unprepared for life. Typical of me that my attempts at leaving a comment were unsuccessful. Obviously, school has left me unprepared for internet life, too lol

However, I also spied a podcast on Pc's blog about writers' clothing style. Now here is a subject of which I've had lots of experience: shopping unsuccessfully for clothes. Depending on which shop I go to, any kind of trouserware has me veering from 30" to 36" waist and short to regular leg - nope, never extended to long - and large to xxl shirts (especially in FCUK) where I always used to be 'M'. I always thought M stood for 'medium'. It seems M must now stand for 'massive'!!! Underwear, too ;-)

Now I've just bought a leather jacket, for which I really need the arms of an ape. Major surgery seems to be the only answer - on the jacket, I mean!

Writing life...

Youtube is beginning to suck

2009-06-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

They keep removing stuff, or something. Now The Last Midnight video has gone missing. How dare they!
Hmmm...

A new place...

2009-05-31T15:04:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I've moved house! I'm no longer by the River Tyne, which is great as it's so much more peaceful now. In this place, I will finish the first book of my latest work. (lol there I go again, writing sentences backwards!)
The area is quiet, even at its busiest, so I believe I will be quite productive. No excuses. No regrets. If I fail, then it is me at fault. Or with no talent, one of the two. Let's see, though. Now, where was I...

Words

2009-04-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

A long, long time ago, a good friend of mine painted a rather striking picture full of words, originally entitled: Words.
Millions of years later, we bumped into each other and the first thing that entered my head was this picture. And yep, the picture still exists.
Funny that, as I don't have the opening words to the beginning of my second chapter. God, if I could have just dipped into this picture for a while and grabbed some! A friend in need... indeed!

The Words.

The Words.

It's not writer's block. There's a spark of inspiration missing. It's coming, I do know that, just it's hiding in a corner, somewhere dark, somewhere quiet, whispering to me, slightly out of earshot, tantalising. I'm listening, just not recognising. Yet!
I've got four days off next week, and I'm hammering at the door of creativity, believing the face of this book's devil will be reflected in the words of the 'good people' on the other side of the door. Good people? What is 'good'? It's all relative, I do assure you. I need to reassure myself - maybe that's the problem. I gotta think!
I took my time over the opening words of the tale, and I'm hoping, believing, that the story will write itself, like the beginning did. (Great english, that!)
I'm close to finishing this chapter. What on earth am I worrying about? Opinions, probably. I gotta live up to the hype. My hype, actually.
I'm cracking up. Probably, too.
Madness!
Writing life...

Lions and tigers and bears - Oh my!

2009-04-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

Yep, I watched The Wizard Of Oz on Sunday, and before it Easter Parade. Two of my favourite films and in my top five list on Facebook, too.
I fully intended to complete my rewrite of Chapter 2, but this wonderful boost of light relief was very much needed: the darkness of my new work can have the effect of colouring my thoughts. It was great!
Another reason for not writing too much is the previously-referred-to Dickensian addition to the tale. Having now accepted that this must happen, a rather crazy conversation between two people in the story sprang up inside my head, which, if I manage to pull it off, should be illuminating as to the thoughts and attitudes of people towards the hero. A bit of show, and no tell!
Soon, Solvey, Rich and Noel the Ultimate Proofreader will get their copies of the new opening poem, prologue and first three chapters. Not because I'll be sending them off soon (they won't be sent, as I now understand I can't do that until the book is almost finished), but because I'm going to need their opinions. And these three opinions will count hugely towards my new thinking of the future of the story.
So, on with the show!!! Monday is gonna be a big day... a big writing day.

All I want for Christmas...

2009-02-22T17:02:00.000-08:00

... is a green witch! Dontcha just love the Orange phone network advert? The wicked witch made The Wizard Of Oz so much more interesting. And she's come back. I just love witches - the star of Into The Woods is the witch, and the title of this blog is her song, which I had to play again.
I hope there are more adverts with this green witch. She's a star!

What the Dickens!

2009-02-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

Ha! Something straight out of Dickens has entered my story. It kept flashing at me every now and then, and although I wasn't ignoring it, I kept putting it to one side to think about later.
Actually, it isn't from Dickens - that is, he didn't make it up, just it is an association with his memory, his work.
It's taking me such a long time to move on into the rest of this story, especially this Chapter 2, and I've been getting worried about the future: where would it lead, end, take me. Now I understand that my hesitation is probably founded in this new addition. It's also part of the middle section, the river. Hey! It's a result!
And probably means I'm still in the planning stage.
Perhaps.
Oh, what do I know...

Ghosts

2009-02-04T16:54:00.000-08:00

Whilst finalising my thoughts about Chapter 2 (revised), I began to look through all of my notes. Checking things over in case there was something I had missed, I told myself, preparing for the movement into the tale itself. In actuality, I was re-familiarizing myself with the story and its inhabitants. Almost shaking hands with ghosts.
I surprised myself by what I had recorded in these notes with regard to the beginning and the end. I also surprised myself by what I hadn't written with regard to the middle.
I understand now that I have no middle, mainly the movement from the beginning into the tale itself, and then the ending (a possible choice of endings which I have yet to totally set out). I love what I have done so far, but I get a feeling that I may be hampering myself by not properly exploring the main event. Guess I've been too busy thinking about the beginning to have had many thoughts about the hero's journey after that. Then again, the beginning is vitally important, so I shouldn't be too rough on myself for that.
Perhaps, when Ch 2 is done, my mind will free up and I'll be able to explore what really should happen next. The flashbacks are great, for one thing, and hold up very well after looking at them with a fresh pair of eyes. Fitting them in should be fun, and I have to remember that I wrote them, so I shouldn't be worried I won't be able to write what is going to happen around them.
You gotta have faith, boy!
Cracking up? Probably...

2009-02-02T15:12:00.000-08:00

You and I are yesterday's answers
The earth of the past come to flesh
Eroded by Time's rivers
To the shapes we now possess

The Sage, Emerson Lake and Palmer

Just musing while watching Alien Resurrection...
Were the stars put there so that we can admire them, or were we put there to admire the stars?
Either answer implies a consciousness behind the reason. That is, someone (?) must be behind it all.
The one constant I can find in anything - in the absence of the proof of life beyond our current knowledge - is 'light'. Light travels from one star to...... where, exactly? Where does it go after most of it passes by us? Does it stay together, or expand into next-to-nothingness, or is eroded by planetary forces as it brushes past, or all of these?
And what is the purpose of light? Is there an intended purpose? Just why is light?
I know we can say why to anything, making the question an almost redundant nonsense behind which particular smokescreen all answers to existence may hide. But light intrigues me more than anything - apart from emotions, because without them no reason of any kind could exist. Well, you wouldn't ask any question and care about the answer if emotions did not exist, would you?
So I wonder: does light have another purpose to those scientists know of? And could it be alive, organic? If it is not alive initially, does it become so while travelling through Dark Matter?
Are we actually part of light's own self? Is it possible that if we find the true reason for light's existence, we may find the answer to our own existence?
The words of Ed Wood JR spring to mind in one of his masterful (!) films. He hinted at the existence of the Solar Unite. A force that linked all planets across the universe. Silly, I know, to listen to the ramblings of..... But I guess he had a point. Is light some kind of solar unite?

The above was created without the use of alcohol or other substances of any kind. I promise!

Technology - Huh!

2009-02-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

Can't seem to get Blogger and Youtube to agree to show the video I want. Oh well, maybe another day...

Happy New Year!!!!!!

2009-01-01T10:07:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone.
Would you believe it, I just opened a fortune cookie from a Chinese meal. It said: You have a potential urge and the drive for accomplishment.
Glad I don't write that way, but the sentiment's good enough for me lol

When friends are gone...

2008-12-27T15:41:00.000-08:00

Today, in 2006, my greatest friend was killed in an air crash at sea. Life does go on, but it kills you a little as it does it, leaving you trying to catch hold of some kind of meaning of life as it disappears over a far, non-existent horizon. I just needed to hear something from the past, something reassuring - though quite what, I couldn't tell you. I wished Les' wife Julie a Merry Christmas on Christmas Day, a sentiment I meant, but couldn't be sure had any meaning to her. They had two sons together, Lewis and Joel. Perhaps these two young fellas made it mean more to Jules than could really be expected at this time. I hope so.
Wandering through youtube in search of some kind of meaning (what a place to look for that!), I came across We Got The Funk. Wow! That was in the heart of our old nightclubbing days. It actually sounds like a Chic tune, so I haven't posted it up here with a Sister Sledge song already up, but please go to youtube and listen to it, by Positive Force. Of course, after listening to it, you'll probably do what I do and enter the labyrinth of songs posted up all over the place, stumbling across all kinds of stuff you had forgotten about. Have fun! Nothing lasts forever - a positive statement only if you believe that 'nothing' exists. 'Time waits for no man' is probably a better saying - a positive urging, if you like, to do something with your life.
Guess I'm only just holding on to this blog - the effort of writing my latest work, my own personal dreamworld, seems to be leaving little room for a blog in my life. I am beginning to wonder if blogs have the meaning they originally held. Are they no longer an end, but now have become a means to help further another, perhaps more important, end. And if they don't have that more important 'end', then it maybe has no useful purpose. Not sure.
Thoughts of a night...

What if...

2008-12-12T15:10:00.000-08:00

Maria's wrestling with the 'what if' question has rung a few bells. I'm at that point right now, sorting out my second chapter whilst simultaneously exploring some different endings to the story itself. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, as I'm looking at both ends of the book at the same time. I can't help it - it just seems to be happening and I can't control it. Maybe there's something in the back of my mind that's telling me the one affects the other. I've got a great ending, but a slightly different one has entered my head. 'What if' a third one wanders along to threaten my sanity even further? I dunno. I'll suss it out soon, I guess. Maybe I don't need to and it's just a diversion, a distraction. I could, of course, be secretly wishing it was all done. Yep, I know the strain. Been through it all before and the brick wall I hit then could be right there at the end of this particular road, too. Always crashing in the same car, sung Bowie, and I'm trying my best not to. Ha! The fear factor... Maybe I could turn it into some kind of X-Factor and have you vote my next move!!!! All five of you lol
The replacing of the song-quote at the beginning has changed the central focus a touch. I'm happy with that, and maybe it's the domino effect, a bit of background re-programming, I'm experiencing. That was a good 'what if' that worked wonderfully, I gotta say! Solvey hasn't read that part yet, and neither has Noel the Ultimate Proofreader, so their reactions aren't known. They will be, though!
Presha...

2008-12-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

King Street in South Shields this very night. It looks a lot more magical in real life than these mobile phone pics can portray, but I thought I'd post them anyway. When I saw this display, I immediately thought of someone from my new story who would have loved to have been with me, staring up at the lights. My problem, if I can call it that, is conveying scenes such as these, and also conveying properly the wonder felt by someone at the very moment she beholds them. Not during, not after, but at the very moment she would first see these lights. This is where my fantasy training would come in: I know I would have to believe it first before I could describe it. I would have to see it for myself. Then I must become the person I am portraying. The reader has to believe, too, that he/she is there, looking up at the lights. Wonder must be universal, it must be contagious, passing from the writer's vision, through the eyes of the person in the story and into the mind's eye of the reader.

Difficult.

But you have to believe you can do it. More than that: you have to know you can do it. This doesn't mean that you will never do it if you do not know if you can. It simply means that you must learn how to do it.

Practice and study.

Practice doesn't always make perfect. Nobody ever achieves perfection - not even me, your resident raving loony perfectionist! But practice helps you achieve a state of mind that allows you to write in a more lucid, more eloquent, way.

Studying your favourite writers always helps. Ask yourself how they would have done it. If they have done something similar, ask yourself how you yourself would have done it instead - what would you have done differently.

Then try it. And keep trying it until you believe you have done it the best way you can. Your only worry after that will be that it is good enough to get you published. Lol! That's worry enough! But at least you will have given yourself a better chance.